'Pilot' - 666 Park Avenue, Season One

666 Park Avenue

Season One

Episode One

‘Pilot’ – 6.0

I’ve been taking somewhat of a break from writing my pieces recently, which I admit is an interesting thing to do at this time of year, with almost every returning show reappearing around now. It’s not my fault though, since I’m actually in the complex and highly overrated process of shifting my place of residence somewhere new, and the lack of a functioning cable receiver, bluray player, DVR or television have been hampering my repeated attempts to get back in the game. Yeah, that has put me behind. Yeah, it means none of my recaps have gone up yet. Yeah, like you give a shit.

In my first writing day for nearly two weeks, I am bringing to you a recap of the first episode from new horror drama 666 Park Avenue. Set in a New York apartment building, this adaption of Gabriella Pierce’s novel of the same name is no doubt hinged on the success of fellow genre-buddy ‘American Horror Story’, who came to be last year and brought horror into the realm of possibility on television. That said, I should mention how difficult it would be not to compare these two shows with one another, and thus I can’t be bothered trying not to. Obvious question; which is better? Less obvious answer; I just can’t tell yet.

If you consider what is probably the most important thing in this genre; actually being scared, FYI; American Horror Story definitely takes the cake. 666 has a few moments that got me a little but it lacked that pervasive sense of suspense and dread that made AHS so enthralling. However, the reason AHS was so scary was that it was unbelievably over-the-top, throwing any semblance of restraint or common sense so far out of the window it became entirely irretrievable, and this allows the viewer to legitimately feel like anything could – and would – happen over the course of the show. 666 seems to have morals and boundries, choosing to be almost completely devoid of violence or sex; those two aspects of horror that can be so easily used to manipulate our fear. Perhaps it isn’t so much morals, rather it would be the guiding hand of free-to-air network executives. You have to worry about this sort of thing, I guess, if you want to garner the attention of the general public, despite this being a horror show that risks alienating the fans of horror shows. Wow, did you get that?

So what exactly is this show about? Well, 999 Park Avenue is a residential hotel in the fancy part of New York, and it is a quite attractive building. I’m no architecture-fanatic  - I actually like the look of Fed Square – but this haunted masterpiece is pretty breathtaking, though that’s just a case of excellent location scouting. Anyway, in the first sequence we meet the building’s pre-main couple residential manager, who’s ambitions seem to converge on the thought of being a symphonic violinist,because that just founds epic fun. Whatever though, cause as he plays under the watchful eyes of the show’s obvious antagonistic couple – Lost’s Terry O’Quinn and Desperate Housewives’ Vanessa Williams – the tips of our musician’s plucking fingers begin to split open just a little bit, dripping blood onto his sheet music and his nice shoes. The bad guys are loving this of course.

Later the clearly ill-fated muso returns to his flat at 999 Park Avenue, packing his bags and smashing his violin against the dresser. He tries to run out the door, only to have it shut on him as he receives a call from O’Quinn, who totally says some shit. Scary shit, I’m sure. Admittedly, I just wanted to see this man murdered violently, only because my brain was freaking out thinking that it was inevitable. Sure enough, he does die, but not particularly shockingly. I was a little surprised, but it was no scary end; violinman (the world’s least interesting superhero) manages to break his way out of the building’s intricately designed double door entrance, only for that oh-so-familiar imminent-death cue to play just as he falls to his knees in relief. Seconds later he’s sucked through a little viewing hole and out of our show. To be honest, it was fairly nerve-wracking; until he was eaten by a door. Right, cause, that’s just full of sense right there. Couldn’t he have exploded or something? 999 Park Avenue is scary because it ABSORBS its victims? You do that, TV, I won’t stop you. I won’t like it, but I won’t stop you.

I didn’t realise what a profound effect that somewhat disappointing first death would have on my overall viewing experience. Initially I did think it was a bit silly – and not in a good horror-movie implausibility way – but it almost entirely vacuum-sucked the tension out of this show. Thankfully, there are actually a few other things going for it.

Our real protagonists, and the new resident managers are Jane Van Veen and Henry Martin, played by Australian Rachael Taylor and Dave Annable respectively, who offer a younger and more attractive look than what was seen in AHS. Oddly though, this slight advantage was not really used at all, and at their most seductive we see Taylor apparently naked in a bath tub. A sexy girl, sure, but they could have taken advantage of it. Another actress, Helena Mattsson – who has far too many adjacent double letters in her last name – is asked to strip off for the camera, which makes a bizarre decision to pan up a little, preventing visible boobage. I’m not complaining too much, it was just a bit surprising for a horror show to resist getting a little post-PG. DAMN YOU PARENT GROUPS. Some shows can have nudity. We aren’t all frigid old people with sheltered children!

The most interesting plot of the night did actually involve Mattsson. Taylor and Annable didn’t really do much, other than fuss over the house and get ever so subtly manipulated by Locke and Vanessa Williams. If you were wondering. Regardless, Mattsson plays Alexis, a voyeuristic whore who enjoys being ogled at by Brian Leonard, a flailing playwright portrayed by Robert Buckley who lives in 666 and is able to see Alexis’ apartment. His wife is Louise Leonard, who suffers in the episodes best scene; Only minutes after Brian watched Alexis remove her silken dressing gown to reveal off-camera bosoms, the married couple are caught in an elevator mishap. Their downward journey had been short, but somewhat unexpecting, culminating in Louise getting struck by a premature closing of the lift doors. I was honestly surprised, and watching the heavy metal barricade shut on the poor woman again and again was actually incredibly painful to watch. There was a very brief moment of real suspense when the lift clearly began to rise back up again, and I was momentarily sure that she was about to be torn in half. However, the next shot shows her back on the floor again, all of her in one piece. Not quite sure what happened there, but it didn’t matter, I enjoyed it. If it matters, she’s not dead.

For another character, they don’t get out of the night’s happenings so easily. His name is John Barlow, and it is established early on that he is a recent widower, with a very nosy Jane quickly discovering that Mrs. Barlow had died in a mental institution. In an understated and tense scene, the ghost of this woman appears behind Jane as she fiddles with a light globe, before vanishing into the darkness and emerging alive on the bed of her widowed husband. Gavin explains to John that his wife’s return is a rented life, and that payments need to be made. He orders the poor guy to murder two men, but he flakes on the third and Gavin returns his insolence with more getting-eaten-by-the-building. I won’t be so utterly bereft of fear about this bizarre method of death if you kill one of the protagonists with a spontaneous devouring-by-house. Maybe Jane can be chewed up by a water heater!

In all truth, nothing much else really happened. I’m already sick to death of the building itself, though I hope that it causes more lift-door accidents, that was fantastic. It was really the only point in the episode that had me tense – though the finger slicing in the cold open was getting there. The performances are passable, though I haven’t seen enough to judge properly. I wouldn’t say any actors jumped out in either good or bad ways, and I can see Taylor taking Jane far over the course of the series. O’Quinn and Williams are quite effective as the evil hearts of this tale, but from personal experience I have learnt that evil is the easiest personality trait to pull off to an audience. EVIL LAUGHTER CUED AND DELIVERED.

The cinematography is pretty typical of a horror, though it appears to be somewhat less inclined to pull evasive techniques just to keep us on our toes. For example, we don’t get close ups that obscure the entire frame to increase claustrophobia, which is a welcome change, though it once again makes 666 seem less like a horror and more like a standard network drama. Not necessarily a bad thing, though I hope they can pull in the normal audience like they seem to be trying to. Musically, I only really noticed anything in the cold open, which was scored with a nice orchestral piece, a motif of the show it seems as a symphony manages to make a repeat appearance. I’m certainly not antsy, classical music is always a step ahead of synthesiser-based scores that you get in shows like ‘the Vampire Diaries’. We all should note how important the music is in a horror film. Yes, Joss Whedon may note that the score manipulates us into feeling set emotions when we should really be experiencing everything the way we want to, but in a horror we need to be scared, and little does that better than a terrific, over-the-top musical cue. For now, 666 seems to understand that.

I’ll definitely tune in some more, though exactly how long the show is able to keep me intrigued is yet to be seen. Fingers crossed!