Falling Behind

I've gotten a bit slack lately. Whether it be my frequent trips away from home or the fact I've suddenly developed a life - totally overrated, by the way - I've completely and unavoidably fallen behind.

I'm near obsessive compulsive, by the most head-on way to deal with that condition is to totally fuck up my intricate and important systems for doing anything. In the case of this blog, that means I have to do something I swore I'd never do: skip a few episodes. I haven't quite decided what will be dealt with and what won't be, I do know that anything I watch this week will not be reviewed in depth for this site, with a few exceptions.

The episodes I will not be detailing are (I'll update this list as it grows):

'Two Hats' - Homeland, Season Two, Episode Nine
Simply put, I did actually enjoy this episode quite a lot. It was intense and emotional. The rekindling of Mike and Jess' affair was a long awaited development that was deftly handled and suitably resonant, yet understated. Meanwhile, the eventual apprehending of Roya Hammad was well-worth the wait, even if it did rob us of a major terrorist event.
Score: 8.5

Episodes I will be reviewing despite watching in my anti-work period include the Boardwalk Empire finale, simply because it is the big finish for the season, and anything I watch that is Fringe-related, because this thirteen-episode season is essentially the show's much longer finish.

'TS-19' - The Walking Dead, Season One

The Walking Dead

Season One

Episode Six

'TS-19' - 9.0

This is like a role call for the show, with all but six of the thirteen characters seen here no longer with us. 

You can tell from any specific episode of The Walking Dead that this show is not the cheeriest piece of popular culture. Every one of the last three parts of this season has featured the death of at least one of the group of survivors. In 'Vatos' we lost Amy and Ed, 'Wildfire' left Jim on the roadside and 'TS-19' sees another of the group bumped off, along with new character Dr. Jenner.

But death and misfortune aren't in the focus until the last twenty minutes of the season finale, with the rest being oddly optimistic and happy. This doesn't include the out-of-place flashback which opens the episode, focusing on Shane as he tries to rescue a still comatose Rick from the hospital. At the time the hospital was being overrun by soldiers and zombies, and Shane's determination and desperation to save his friend juxtapose nicely to what he is today. He even braves the military as they begin to massacre the people still located in the building, staying long enough to search for any vital signs of Rick's, only to come to the conclusion that he's already gone. Deciding to protect his friend, despite his apparent death, Shane places the gurney seen in 'Days Gone Bye' in front of his door, to prevent the walkers from getting in.

What a lot of shows like to do is redeem a character who is originally portrayed as a villain to main heroes, but while Shane's actions are commendable, in my view it highlights how far he has sunk because of his relationship with Lori. I'm not overly sure what the intention of the flashback was, whether we are supposed to like Shane now or if we are supposed to still despise him. I just don't know. Nonetheless, it is the most action packed location of any scene to that point, presenting a chaotic, foggy mess of blood and pain and death, and our first look at the world during the actual spread of the infection, rather than what happened immediately before or after it.

Once the credits have rolled and we get into the present day, we cut to the point immediately following last episode's ending; the group entering the CDC near Atlanta. Rick and the other survivors are slightly disconcerted by the lack of staff located at the facility, with Dr. Jenner revealed to be the only scientist remaining, though you could have assumed that from 'Wildfire'. Soon enough though, everyone decides to enjoy the food, the power and the hot water provided, but to the viewers it is implied that something is very much amiss.

As the survivors acclimatise to a normal existence of bathing, reading and sleeping for entire nights, we spend about fifteen minutes exploring who these characters are once the horrors of the outside world behind them. Dale comforts Andrea more as she continues to struggle with the death of Amy, as well as her assumption from Jenner's words and mannerisms that the whole of civilisation has crumpled in its entirety. I like Andrea, if only for Laurie Holden's gripping performance and delivery, and how easily she turns from strong to broken.

Andrew Lincoln gets to portray a different side of his generally strong character, as Rick admits to Dr. Jenner that he had begun to lose hope in his and the others' survival. It is the first time we have seen the weaker side of our protagonist, and this is something I am very eager to see more of. Unflappable, honourable heroes are seriously dull. Watch Terra Nova for an example of how not to do a main character. In fact, I've had minor issues with the stereotypical way in which Rick Grimes was presented earlier in this season, but he's improved on a deeper level to become a very multi-layered hero, with both potential for good and bad under the surface.

The most powerful pre-disaster development at the CDC belongs to Lori and Shane. Shane demonstrated last episode how he feels about Rick's return, coming very close to putting a bullet in the man he tried to rescue only a few months ago. His relationship with Lori, if I were to make a guess, is the only thing that Shane can accept as a benefit from the destruction of life-as-he-knows-it, and thus the only thing that needs to be held on to. Of course, I could be reading into something that is just supposed to be a point of conflict, with no great underlying meaning, but the way in which Shane confronts Lori in 'TS-19' is almost brutal. Finding her alone in the recreation room, the very drunk man begins trying to explain to her why he thought  Rick was dead. There's a possibility that the flashback at the start of the episode was only there to give this scene sense and a context. After Lori refuses to accept that Shane told her that her husband had died in order to get her out of their town, he resorts to telling her how much they are in love with one another, cause that always works in the movies right? Soon enough, it gets worse once Shane starts literally forcing himself on (and maybe in) a frightened Lori, who manages to give her former lover a nice big scrape with her fingernails, thus ending the conversation. It was intense for a show I had thought would be just an action-horror when I first tuned in, and a brave move by the writers. The attempted rape doesn't really lead to anything in the episode, since problems quickly arise that are more pressing matters for the pair, but I can tell this is going to end very badly for someone.

Eventually the survivors begin demanding answers about the disease, it is the CDC after all. Dr. Jenner shows the group a video of the death and reanimation of TS-19. It's difficult to describe without seeing it, but the entire sequence of the subject's transition is absolutely perfect. There is no sound from the video itself, but there is a terrific score and Jenner's narration is reflective and beautiful. Hell, the whole thing was beautiful, colours, acting (especially from Andrea), script, lighting, every damn thing is immaculate.

From the video we lead directly to the big problem of the episode - when the power in the facility runs out, the building blows itself up. It's a great plot twist, though it was an obvious next step to keep the characters running. It also gives them all a chance to make a choice - eventually Jenner gives them the option of staying or going, with everyone but Jenner himself, Jacqui and Andrea deciding to make a run for it. With Andrea staying, Dale refuses to leave as well, forcing her to choose between surviving or killing them both. Dale's lecture of her was a marvellous performance from Jeffery DeMunn, and hints at a possible romance between in the two characters in the future, even if it is a little creepy.

Luckily Andrea relents and the two make it out of the CDC, just as it goes up in a massive ball of orange fire and black smoke that rises above them all in a glorious mushroom cloud that sends out the first season of this impeccable drama.  Sure, the CGI was a little wonky, but it still looked good and was as spectacular as they intended for it to be. I did like how they seemed to decide not to end on a cliffhanger, choosing instead to have the group simply moving on from another tragedy, and back into the real world.

I guess that is the final notion of the Walking Dead; the horrors are inescapable, and the only options you have sometimes are to survive, or to not. So 'TS-19' continued the groups constant fleeing from the end of the world, and even if it had a bit of a slow start - or middle, the flashback cold-open was pretty awesome - the episode was as softly spoken yet loud and callous as the show loves to be. There was the lovely mix of characters and their gain and loss that will definitely not end, and it was a fine instalment to go out on, leaving any viewer fervent for the show's sophomore outing. 

'Ties That Bind' - Revolution, Season One

Revolution

Season One

Episode Eight

'Ties That Bind' - 1.5

This is a group of people who all need to die slow, painful deaths. 

No. Just fucking no. I'm tired of giving the stupidity of this horrid attempt at storytelling a pass. Revolution is just every type of idiotic, using every single cliché and over-used trope to give itself a sense of adventure and action, but in the end it is just sad.

Take the shoot-outs we see during 'Ties that Bind'. First, Miles realises he and his friends are heading towards an ambush, and rather than run straight away opts to continue moving closer to the trap, pushing themselves onto a bridge, preventing them from scattering. I swear you used to be a fucking strategist, and now you decide that you'd rather force your crew to run from gunfire in a straight line than let the enemy know they've been made too early. COME ON!!! General Strauss kind of sucks too, because they could have tried to AIM. This is one of those overused tropes I mentioned: action film bad guys can never, ever aim, despite supposedly being trained to do so. It's maybe a bit more passable in a story where guns are hard to come by, but they had machine guns and their targets were fleeing as a group in a straight-fucking-line. FUCKINGLY FUCKING FUCK.

The second and final shoot-out had pretty similar issues. Namely, why not aim? They had clearly been behind Miles and the crew for a while, but they decided that they'd rather fire a few warning shots, instead of taking out someone who could fight back. Yes, I know they wanted Miles alive, but not Charlie or Aaron. Aren't they supposed evil? Isn't that the terribly written idea here, that the militia is immoral and totalitarian and actually needs to be defeated, instead of just being like the police. That's right, according to the laws of the Monroe Republic, Charlie and the gang are criminals! I am yet to actually feel bad for anyone.

The total fail is exemplified when Nora shows up, knifes some guy in the back, takes his gun and TAKES OUT THREE MEN WITH THREE BULLETS. Screw you, show. That's not how real life works, at least one good guy needs to die. Kill Aaron, no one gives a shit about him.

I've said that sometimes watching a show with your brain deactivated can be a relaxing experience, but I have issues when the show's brain is deactivated. If apparent experts don't know how to hold themselves in a fire fight then I'm likely to pull a hissy-fit. It certainly isn't helping that I find Miles to be insufferable, both in the way he's written and the way he's played. Despite his experience, I feel like he should be dead, along with his moralistic niece. Nora, oddly enough, is possibly my favourite character.

Note that that doesn't mean I like her.

With the whole introduction of her sister, I did think that they might kill her off, and I came to the quick conclusion that either she was going to die, Mia was going to die and finally cause some character development, or the two of them were going to ride off into the sunset together. It's probably a good thing that none of this happened, instead Mia turned out to be a fraud who was working for Sergeant Strauss in order to save her sister's life. Fair enough, and I didn't predict it. For once, I did understand why Nora leapt back to go help her friends, ditching her desperate sister standing alone. The realisation that Mia had never actually been to Texas and found their father was probably more affecting though, and I'm practically begging the writers to play on this somehow, and build some of Nora's character up. Finally. 

This show seems to underestimate the intelligence of its viewers, and I've come to the conclusion that it is like an IQ test. If you don't notice the logical failures then you have below average intelligence, i.e less than 100 IQ points. If you do, then congrats you have at least 100 IQ points, like half the world. Anyway, it's patronising, infuriating and nonsensical at times, to the point that I can no longer ignore the stupidity of its writers. They don't even make it cheesy! If it was like Xena or Buffy-type ridiculous I'd probably really enjoy it, but they play it STRAIGHT.

I'VE JUST REALISED: 'Revolution' isn't a failed epic adventure, it's a failed comedic farce! That makes me feel better.

'Hounded' - The Walking Dead, Season Three

The Walking Dead

Season Three

Episode Six

'Hounded' - 7.5

Whenever characters get coated in zombie blood, I remember the eye-contamination scene from '28 Days Later'. 

You know how characters in television shows seem to experience weird, grief-stricken moments of schizophrenic hallucinations, such as talking to the deceased person and such? Having never really lost anyone particularly close to me, I can’t attest to the realism of such occurrences, but for the most part TV manages to make them seem a tad trite and a little stupid, yet Rick's phone chat with some of those we've lost was surprisingly affecting.

Amy, Jeff and Jacqui join Lori in their cryptic messages to poor Rick, who is led to believe that the initially unknown voices are safe in some secure location. This I guess has two meanings: first, Rick needs to get a fucking grip. Second, the only real salvation IS real salvation. That's depressing, though Rick only seems to focus on the first conclusion.

I did wonder where Dale was, though I guess Rick had a few issues with the moral man shortly before his death, unlike the others he talked to. I certainly didn't expect to hear from Shane. Maybe Dale's voice would have been too recognisable early on? 

Michonne has a pretty good day, slicing and dicing her way to freedom from the Governor's hounds. It was pretty goddamn tense, as it was Merle - who I don't really mind too much - versus Michonne, and it was starting to look like they weren't both going to survive. However, they both manage to make it out of their predicaments, even if Merle loses two of his four-man crew, then puts a bullet in the other when he got too keen on capturing the escapee.

I didn't see Merle's meeting with Glen and Maggie coming, especially considering that Michonne was already there. It is interesting that the Woodbury and prison populations are about to start mixing, as Michonne actually turned up at Rick's fence, covered in blood and carrying the basket of baby formula that Glen and Maggie had been retrieving. So who will turn up at the other's door first? Best case scenario would be Rick making a pilgrimage of peace to the Governor, as if he has to come first then we know shit's going to hit the fan. However, with Michonne being the prison-folk's tourist guide to Woodbury, I can't see them rushing off to meet up with the evil militia.

Nonetheless, what the writers have done in one episode sets all our characters up for a hell of a battle that - unlike the Governor's barrage of the military convoy earlier this season - could be an even match. Not only has the Governor lost a handful of capable soldiers, but his targets now have their own able fighter, who knows a little inside information on them. At the same time, Andrea will end up being in the centre of it all, along with Glenn and Maggie. That's assuming all three of them survive to the confrontation, as presumably the latter two will be tortured until their give up their group's location. Andrea's pretty much guaranteed to make it to the fight, now that she's sharing the Governor's bed.

Oh yeah, Andrea fucked the Governor. And what do I say to that? Finally! The two have been ogling each other since they met (which was only three episodes ago), and this was clearly the direction we were heading in. Yeah, I'm sure the Governor has some fiendish plot in mind for the poor woman, and we can't really be sure what Andrea's getting out of it - she did sleep with Shane that one time as well - but I have no qualms with this relationship. Hopefully it will lead to some good quality horribleness.

As normal there was some jarring moments of flinch-worthy violence, such as Michonne slicing two of Merle's crew in half, then later spilling the insides of an attacking walker all over herself. She'll clearly need to throw that outfit away once she's in the confines of the prison. Daryl also got to pull an off-target knife from under the skin of a downed walker's chin, revealing it to be Carol's. This then lead to a remarkably pleasant scene which had Daryl rip open a door, his blade raised to kill whatever lay inside, only to find a weary and bloodstained Carol. Her disappearance had clearly been affecting the poor guy for a while, so more for his sake than hers I'm exceedingly happy to see the character back in the fold and presumably alive. 

The arrival of Michonne, the healing of Rick, the rescue of Carol. All these things seem like a happy ending, even if Michonne will only inform them that two of their group have been kidnapped. Of course, she might just end up being treated like the original prisoners and either being killed or being locked in a separate wing. Or maybe they'll just look at her loneliness, her knowledge and her baby formula and realise that she could be of use. She might have to lose the katana though. 

'Say The Word' - The Walking Dead, Season Three

The Walking Dead

Season Three

Episode Five

'Say The Word' - 6.0

Could this be the least attractive view of Laurie Holden ever?

The Walking Dead has always prided itself on its thorough and unabashed portrayal of humanity at its end - and rightfully so, fuck the haters - but tonight I just felt that the chance for some real drama was squandered in favour of an over-the-top revenge massacre that sees Andrew Lincoln working in complete silence as he tears through some unlucky walkers. 

Yes, the silence is a good move. Buffy's 'The Body' showed how much more powerful a silent glance or an action is than someone bursting into tears and screaming 'WHY ARE THEY GONE :( :( :(!!!', and 'Say the Word' clearly decided to show Rick's regression to animalistic fury non-verbally. The title itself is a tad ironic to that regard, though in retrospect the silence itself was largely unnoticeable and a tad pointless. In fact, I think the rampage itself was pointless, and it wasted time that could be spent getting the character somewhere; preferably that isn't the bloody plate of leftovers that used to be his wife's corpse.

Did I fail to mention that? Perhaps it was because Sarah Wayne Callies was unavailable to play a body, but when Rick finally runs out of zombies to unreanimate, he discovers that his wife has already been devoured, and all that remains are odd bits of clothing and ICKY THINGS, as well as one walker who has gorged himself to the point of immobility. I felt kind of sorry for the bulbous thing, especially considering it doesn't even have the ability to try and defend itself against a vengeful Rick, who gorily eviscerates the satiated creature in a fervour of stabs and slashes. 

I understand that Rick needs to have sunk as far as possible, and that for the coming battle with the Governor we need to believe that he might lose, but simply sitting in sullen silence would have accomplished that. Hell, he could have just killed a couple of walkers, then walked back to the group with Glenn. The whole thing seemed to last an entire night, and it was a bit much. 

Speaking of the Governor, Woodbury is becoming a stranger and stranger place. To be perfectly honest it had not yet clicked in my mind that no one was actually allowed to leave the town, although it kind of turned out that they are. See you later, Michonne. If I know my tropes though, soon enough a whole squadron of the Governor's men are gonna come down on our mysterious, katana-wielding brooder. 

Michonne finally gets a little more fleshing out tonight, after so long was spent watching her brood. She is clearly a bit put down when Andrea opts to stay in the town rather than leave with her, likewise Andrea is a tad sad to see her off. I'm pretty sure that Michonne won't get bumped off anytime soon, because I can only imagine the fan backlash that would cause - even if at the moment her character still sinks a little. Still, she's getting better, with 'Say the Word' showcasing her biggest leap forward so far. 

Daryl and Maggie's trek out into the world-beyond-the-prison-fence demonstrated that this show has pulled off one of its goals; last episode's carnage has reasserted the feeling that anyone can die at anytime. I just kept getting sense that something horrible was going to happen to one of the two, who both would rank among my top five Walking Dead characters of all time. Who are the others? Rick, Andrea and Lori. Yes, I liked Lori. Wanna fight about it? 

Anyway, back to the suspense! Sure, the opossum trick was a bit cliché and manipulative, but it did the job to freaky effects. I was more worried about Maggie than Daryl, as the latter is just awesome and difficult to kill. Nonetheless, one must also remember that this is television and whoever the writers want to kill WILL DIE. Doesn't matter how terrific they are at zombie-killing, when it is their time it is over for them. Sadly, plot-brought abilities don't count for much in fiction.

I know many people who watch this show but are certain that Daryl can't be killed. This isn't real life, people, everyone's in danger! Especially if they are popular! I wouldn't say Rick is on the outs, nor Michonne, but I think anyone else could die just as easy next episode as make it out of the season. People have to die in the war with the Governor, and the writers will often pick whoever will bring about the biggest emotional impact. It's almost needless to say to everyone, but we have to prepare for carnage, and I just love that I have to say that. 

I am still having issues with the coldness of this season, but the scenes at Woodbury are interesting me, even if the whole zombie-ring-of-death was a bit insane for my tastes. I want the Governor to get on with the evil though, and stop beating around the fucking bush. KILL EVERYONE!!!

'Wildfire' - The Walking Dead, Season One

The Walking Dead

Season One

Episode Five

'Wildfire' - 9.5

Best day to be an extra ever. 

The Walking Dead doesn't have main plots or subplots, instead it really is just documentary-like A-B storytelling. That is reductive, of course, because it is a complex show underneath, with some of the best characters on screen at the moment. What I find is best about them is that they aren't just likable or not, they have personalities with negative and positive attributes. Rick has detractors, and Daryl has benefits, for example.

After the horrors that drew 'Vatos' to a thrilling and distressing end, 'Wildfire' opens with a slow, reflective tone as the survivors deal with the zombie attack on the camp. Of course the most poignant of the characters right now is Andrea, who is mourning the death of Amy, who died of her bites in her sister's arms. As the episode begins, morning has broken on the camp and Andrea has knelt over the corpse for the entire night, without doing anything to prevent her from rising again. Lori, Rick and Dale all attempt to comfort the grieving woman, but the former two don't get any edgeways. Lori is entirely ignored as she tries to convince her to let Amy be disabled, while Rick gets a gun pointed at him before he could finish a sentence. Dale has more luck, relaying the sad tale of his wife's gradual passing to cancer, and he and Andrea have a sweetly written and very true - if a little trite - conversation about whether either is to blame for their respective loved one's deaths.

Something we learnt in the second episode 'Guts' was that Amy's birthday was coming up, and if you can remember Andrea took a small mermaid necklace as a present. Well of course, this very day is the poor girl's birthday, and Andrea chooses to be uber depressing by solemnly draping the pretty thing over her sister's blood-stained neck. It is touching, but I'm a bit tired of shows making sad events more tragic and cruel by ruining happy days.

Other characters get a little screen time to deal with the previous night's disaster as well. Carol says goodbye to her abusive husband the nicest way she can; by desecrating his remains repeatedly with a pickaxe. The onscreen destruction of the man's skull - a man we kind of met, no less - was incredibly gross, and even I have my limits. Sure, we aren't supposed to like this guy, but it is just plain disrespectful to anyone to show their brains exploding again and again all over the camera. DEAR GOD NOW IT WON'T GO OUT OF MY HEAD.

Things don't look good for our deranged psychic Jim either, who is discovered to have been bitten by some zombie in the attack. He seems OK at first, but it doesn't take him long to deteriorate, the effects of which are shown through sweat, retching and frightening Exorcist-like flashes of disturbing images. I don't know why this is, but flashes make scary scenes infinitely more frightening; i.e. the slow exploration of the abandoned space ship in the sci-fi Sunshine. And they were just flashes of pictures featuring the ship's original crew! Anyway, Jim's condition is a catalyst for Rick's idea to take the camp and go to the CDC, which is apparently near Atlanta. This sparks a debate amongst the entire group, with Shane and Rick both wanting to go completely separate ways from one another, but it is poor Lori who winds up in the middle of the alpha-dog humping match. Of course she ends up siding with her husband, but that isn't without a good talking-to for Rick. To be honest I don't really like Lori much, she seems a bit moralistic and pushy.

Rick and Shane's disagreement comes to a subtle head as they go to scour the woods for any lost zombies. With Rick up ahead, Shane spends a brief moment with his sights set literally on his former friend and colleague, and it is kind of tense for a second. While I never expected Rick to end up dead at this point, I wasn't sure if Shane would try or not, and it was pretty touch and go for second there. In the end Shane does come to his senses and lower the gun, but not before being spied by a very confused and concerned Dale, who doesn't really make a big deal or anything, but it does hint towards problems for Shane down the line. This short lapse of judgment is the first clear and explicit depiction of his growing anger towards Rick, and it looks like this is only going to get worse as things go on.

In my favourite scene of the show so far, Amy does finally rise from death. It is quiet, without music and scored only by the soft sounds of her body reanimating. I was infinitely impressed by the show's ability to turn such an iconic zombie-film trope into a scene of true cinematic beauty, and the shot of Amy's eyes slowly opening to reveal the pale, dead stare of a walker is absolutely stunning. This single event is what the episode had led up to, with most of the sequences involving Andrea keeping her dead sister just in frame, if only to make us tense while we wait for her to leap up and eat somebody, but her real rise from the dead is so anticlimactic, it's almost sweet. Laurie Holden is perfect, like really perfect, as she says goodbye to what her sister has become, before putting the gun to the side of Amy's head and pulling the trigger. I wish the zombie-genre did more amazing scenes like these, because it is a disturbing but oddly heartwarming  depiction of human emotion and love.

As the group finally agrees to head to the CDC (well, most do), we flash to the very place in question, where scientist Dr. Jenner gives a video diary about the spread and status of the disease. I don't know if he actually named it 'Wildfire', but 'Wildfire' was declared 194 days prior, but that would be like saying 'Cholera was just declared'. Do they say that? Anyway, what really interested me was that whatever-it's-called went global sixty-three days ago, which means it was contained for what, 131 days? You couldn't kill all the zombies in like four months? Seriously?

Jenner is a clearly disheartened individual, obviously stumped by the disease and unable to find a cure, or a reason to keep searching. His last specimens are destroyed when the lab goes into 'full contamination' and he is also left without a way of researching it further, and in presumably his last webcast he describes his desire to end his own life, maybe.

Meanwhile, Jim finds himself unable to take the voyage, and asks to be left on the side of the road to die. If there is one thing to love about this show, it's its characters. We only really met Jim last episode, but in just this one scene he makes his farewell from the group a memorable one, if not for shocks or twists, but for the emotion of it all. Most members of the group say a final, heartfelt goodbye to their friend and leave him under the shade of a tree as they drive into the distance. I did remember for a second that Jim was psychic last episode? Maybe he knows what's waiting for them at the CDC? I don't know.

Something that seems to prevail this episode is guilt. Rick is clearly guilty over his late arrival to the camp the night before, and he asks many other characters whether he did the right thing or not, and you could argue that guilt is fueling his need to try and save Jim. Jim himself notices Rick's tendency to blame himself for everything that goes wrong, and in a sweet piece of dialogue attempts to absolve him, explaining that he is being left behind according to his own wishes. Andrea is also incredibly guilty, describing to Dale how she had never been there when her sister needed her, and as Amy rises again all she says 'I'm here now' repeatedly before putting her down. Even Jenner seems a bit of a slave to guilt, and there are implications - not that he caused the disease, mind you - but that he at least feels like he could have done more to slow the spread of the pandemic. I don't normally like themes, unless they are as seamlessly integrated as they are in 'Wildfire'. Buffy the Vampire Slayer was always good at burying its themes and messages deep enough so that you could ignore them if you wish, and 'Wildfire' manages that type of thematic content immaculately, and it ends up adding to the story rather than detracting from it.

In the final scene Rick and the survivors arrive at the CDC, which is pretty dead. There is a brilliant performance from Andrew Lincoln, as Rick bangs on the doors of the building as a horde of walkers begins to move in while darkness begins to fall. Jenner watches from his security cameras, but for whatever reason is reluctant to allow them in. It is very tense, and for a while it begins to look like there might be another massacre on the cards, but we wouldn't have met Jenner unless he was going to be a little important. In the end he opens the doors for the screaming Rick and the crew, bathing them in a brilliant and poetic white light as the episode draws to a close.

I think a two and a half page review indicates my feelings towards this fantastic, touching episode that manages to mix action, emotion, a great script and some perfect performances effortlessly and subtlety. My  only concern is small, in that I found the pick-axe brain fuck of Ed by his wife very cathartic, but also entirely too long and disgusting. It was important for Carol, but the extent of the violence was too much, and rids 'Wildfire' of the perfect ten the episode should deserve. 

'The Killer' - The Vampire Diaries, Season Four

The Vampire Diaries

Season Four

Episode Five

'The Killer' - 4.0

I think 'The Killer' was the worst thing to Google image search for since 'Two Girls, One Cup'

Tyler, Damon, Jeremy, April, Hayley, Matt, Elena, Stefan, Klaus and now even Caroline. With every passing episode, more and more characters stop being interesting or likeable, and after almost no development in so long it's getting tiresome. I wouldn't bat an eyelid if they died. So much could be done better, there could be some real movement, instead of these constant circles.

I'll admit that Elena's arc so far this season has been pretty enjoyable, but she's still the loathsome, moral creature she's always been, and this new vampirism is doing little to change her. 'The Killer' that this episode refers to is actually our female protagonist, as she ends up being the one who finally takes down Connor, the vampire slayer. The moment when she snaps his neck in the cave was quite epic, and there is this degree of wonderful irony and tragedy that underpins the move. I hope that she finds out. It's great that the writers gave Damon and Stefan enough tact to not just blurt out her dumb-girl-play when they come across her digging a grave for her first victim, but she does have to find out sometime. They will no doubt give her some unrealistic, over-the-top 'OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE?' realisation, because her sombre reflection and regret period was pretty fucking cliché. This is The Vampire Diaries though. I can't expect anything groundbreaking.

There is a lot of pretentious and cynical musings coming from me right now, but I get like that when I am really, really tired of the shit. Bonnie's meeting with the college professor for example; utter bullshit. Boring, over-long, badly written and badly edited. We never once see Bonnie actually hypnotised, it is all just '(talking,talking,talking) by the way you've just done something and forgotten about it TA-FUCKING-DAH'. It didn't help that I had mostly forgotten (or blocked out) that she was having ANOTHER magical crisis and couldn't do spells. Maybe one day she can stop putting a cork in her power every time she could be of some level of usefulness. We're all sick of it Bonnie, just learn to be a bloody witch for once.

I had issues with Damon, as normal. He just proves to be a difficult ass when it comes to rescuing Jeremy, Matt and April from the Mystic Grill. Why does Stefan wanting to send hybrids in show he's working with Klaus? All it shows is that Stefan has enough brains to know that something part-werewolf can't be killed by the werewolf venom Connor may or may not have, and the fact that he had to vervain Damon just shows that he can remember all the times that his brother has fucked things up in the past. Remember when he fed Elena his blood? Or when he killed coach Tanner? Or when he killed Jeremy? Or all the times he egged the Originals on? Yeah, I think we can all agree that everyone in Mystic Falls would live a lot longer if he wasn't around. 

In regards to the Mystic Grill hostage situation: what the fuck was that? Admittedly the violent end for so-far-unseen hybrid lackey No.76 was wonderful, but the capture and rescue of the three main humans was unremarkable. They came so close to killing off Jeremy but wussed out at the last second. COME ON!!! You could have had an amazing goodbye, with poor Elena saying farewell to her beloved brother as the glass and nails stick out of him like a porcupine's quills. Also, is anyone going to point out that it was Elena's fault that Connor shot Jeremy? She pumped the hunter and made him miss Stefan, so why did Elena barely even flinch? Similarly, where was Elena when the pressure switch went off? Why wasn't she hit? So many questions, so little motivation to rewatch the episode and figure out the answers. 

Did anyone else hope that at least ONE of the goddamn humans would die? Matt seemed entirely unphased by the events once they were over, while Jeremy was more concerned about the fact he was compelled than the fact he was kidnapped and shot. April had the entire thing compelled away, meaning that the ordeal ended up having almost no bearing on the characters or the plot, other than indirectly causing Connor's death. Whatever, I don't see the point if it isn't going to have repercussions.

Jeremy becoming the new hunter? Called it. Predicted it. Feel somewhat patronised that it played out exactly as I expected, even if it was all a little faster than I thought it would be.

I had issues with Nina Dobrev throughout the episode, but her graveside breakdown was pretty well done. The wait for her to become a more interesting character is getting horrid, but I am pretty sure she's moving towards something better. Her outburst at Damon when he tries to prevent her from helping out was a good omen. In a perfect world she'll kill him eventually, then Jeremy. God I hate them so much. 

OK, 'The Killer' was stupid and pointless. I like that Elena FINALLY killed someone, even though she's killed vampires and stuff. It was an important moment for the series and for the character nonetheless, so I can only hope that the writers will actually do something with this development and not just have her mull over the guilt for a few episodes. Preferably, I'd like to see her switch off her humanity. 

'History Repeating' - The Vampire Diaries, Season One

The Vampire Diaries

Season One

Episode Nine

'History Repeating' - 7.0

'We are never telling Elena we did THAT'

Something I notice about most ‘The Vampire Diaries’ fans is that they refuse to admit that the show has some dodgy episodes. Hell, they'll refuse to admit it has dodgy scenes. It's a generalisation, so it is not entirely fair, but have a glance at the forums or the wikis and you’ll see they can be pretty ravenous. I wonder if this is the Justin Beiber demographic?

Anyway, that is beside the point, because 'History Repeating' isn't too bad, in fact I did kind of enjoy it. It was Bonnie-centric, which would normally spell doom since Katerina Graham really needs to do a few more acting lessons, but some of the set pieces and revelations are actually fairly momentous. Of course the most notable would be that Katherine is in fact alive, and is simply locked in a tomb beneath Fell's church. On a related note, does Fell's Church mean Logan Fell's ancestors were like pastors and priests? So that means that those religious occupations translated to journalism? Is that a bit of religious commentary there, Vampire Diaries, are you trying to be clever?

We see a lot more of Bonnie's amber necklace tonight which has been a major plot device since 'Family Ties', although this was kind of built up as its final appearance. In just the one episode, the poor thing is squabbled over by Caroline and Bonne, thrown into a paddock, involved in a possession then blown to smithereens. Big night for it.

Since Bonnie is Bonnie, she's beginning to freak out more and more because of her fledging-witch abilities, as well as the visions of her great-great-something-or-other Emily brought on by the necklace. Emily has been trying to direct her to Fell's Church in all kinds of 'creepy' ways, well... Vampire Diaries creepy, which isn't really very tense or scary just... I don't know. Not good. So Bonnie, fed up with the constant magical antics, hocks her family's antique necklace as far as she can into some random paddock in what seems to have been supposed to be an emotionally heavy scene, but in the end it was boring and kinda pointless. That very night the necklace is back in her bag for Caroline to find and be a bitch about.

There was a séance. How they got there, I'm not sure. It was Caroline's idea, but it was one of the most idiotic decisions anyone has ever made ever. We have a ghost? Awesome, a séance always seems to fix these problems in the films! I think at this point in the show, Caroline is actually mentally handicapped. As you'd expect, the séance makes everything awful - candles flair up, windows bash open, the necklace disappears then baits Bonnie into getting locked in a bathroom and inhabited by the ghost of her ancestor. Wow  I wish that my manicure parties with the girlfriends ended with demonic possession. Come on, TVD, you had a terrific (if kinda contrite) opportunity to pull some actually frightening scenes on us, but you chose to do some lightweight jump moments while that freaking foul score played over the top. Put some more money in your orchestra, cause right now your music is either disappearing under the scenes or completely over shadowing it with buckets of horrid ear-murder.

You know what was impressive though? Bonnie, now possessed by Emily, heads over to Fell's Church, gives Damon a good supernatural shove then obliterates the crystal in a fiery and very dramatic crowning moment of awesome. There was even a flaming pentagram, though I don't know if many of this show's viewers would get the significance. In fact I don't know if the writers did either, since Bonnie spends the scene telling Damon she won't bring evil upon Mystic Falls, while standing in a giant devil's symbol that had appeared around her. Right, OK. The whole scene was pretty amazing, and we did learn one pretty epic secret - Katherine is alive, and locked in a tomb under the church! As well as twenty-six other vampires, but who cares because KATHERINE! Although I don't know if she'll ever escape now that the crystal is destroyed, but come on, this is Vampire Diaries, they aren't going to leave something like Katherine locked away for long.

Did anything else happen? Well Stefan and Damon spent the episode bonding of sorts, playing darts and football and being brothers, and I was just like... wow, look at all the fucks I give. I don't even care why Damon's in Mystic Falls, though now I know it's for Katherine I'm cool with it. Still I had a brief moment when I didn't despise Damon with every single aspect of my being, and that was at the very end of the episode where he's just sitting in the forest all alone and sulky cause Emily effectively just sealed the love of his life in a tomb for eternity. Ian Somerhalder didn't do too badly, and I really got the fallen-from-grace and hopeless vibe. Paul Wesley did a good job too, since almost all the characters end up crying at the end there, Stefan's much more emotional reaction to the events of the episode was a surprisingly adept acting job from someone who's really only acted as passively interested so far.

So this episode did bring us a hell of a lot of plot - Katherine is alive, but the necklace needed to free her has been destroyed, Logan's alive, and maybe a vampire? There's a new history teacher, Alaric Saltzman, who has like a vampire ring-thing, and didn't come into Jenna's house, maybe because he wasn't invited. Both Damon and Stefan said that they'd leave town, though I doubt either will for very long. Bonnie is informed of all the crazy in the world (that Elena's aware of). That's a lot of stuff for one episode of a show like this, so that can't be a bad thing.

'A Gettysburg Address' - Homeland, Season Two

Homeland

Season Two

Episode Six

'A Gettysburg Address' -  7.0

'Remember that time we spent in backseat heaven? Welcome to front seat hell.'

I thought last week was intense! Hello, machine gun-wielding men in black! 

I had come to the conclusion that Galvez was actually the mole, so imagine my surprise when he was gunned down just as haphazardly as Quinn, Chapman and the four or so other agents sifting through the deceased tailor's digs. Of course, Quinn doesn't die, at least not blatantly, so we can expect to see a bit more of him. 

It all went down because someone was clearly watching the tailor's place to ensure that it wasn't raided, so when it was they had to rush in a retrieve whatever big of incriminating evidence lay behind the false wall. My question however, is why they didn't retrieve it earlier? Why wait until the CIA were actually in the building before moving in. Did they want to make an example out of the CIA? Hopefully this is the case, as it makes a lot more sense than 'we waited two weeks and suddenly it became urgent'. When Roya points out that it had taken two weeks before it was investigated properly hints that maybe this was the reasoning.

Can I just say how much better Roya Hammad is now that she is a known enemy, rather than the mysterious middle man for Abu Nazir? Everyone knows she's evil, but she doesn't know that she's been made. It is entirely against her controlling, dominating character and it is pleasurable waiting for her to start squirming, even if I have to endure Brody squirming all the while.

There is just this one issue, and I have been over it before: why trust Brody? He's a confessed jihadist and someone with a known desire to cripple America, why recruit him into the fucking CIA? You have to question whether jeopardising every single operative on the team is worth the possible link to Abu Nazir.

Just so you know, I'm currently talking to Centrelink on the telephone as I try to concentrate on writing this review. I'm pretty new to this adult responsibility thing, but I see why everyone hates to talk to this crazy corporation. I've been listening to awful hold music for the duration of my time at the desk here, interspersed with the jarring ring tone and almost motivational slogans only a government organisation would throw at you. 'Sick of rebellion? OBEY THE AUTHORITY!!! Live happy!'. Ok, it's nothing like that, but you get the idea.

In the world of Dana Brody, things are just as complicated. Well that's a giant lie, as her plot seems ripped straight from the pages of any soap opera script. Dana gets all emotional and flighty after talking with the daughter of the woman they ran over last episode, and once again we find the main character being the moral compass in a crime duo, with the little known boyfriend being the dick. Why is the main cast always so righteous? Discounting the fact she should have gone to the police by now, we are clearly supposed to be on her side in this whole mess, but it's such a tired storyline that I'm not really on anyone's side.

All I want from you, Homeland, is to give us a story about Brody and Carrie. If this hit-and-run plot is going to tie in beautifully with theirs then go about your business, but if you are going to wrap this up with no ultimate connection then FUCKING GET IT OVER AND DONE WITH. Dana-schmana. I kind of wanted Carrie to strangle her in the season finale anyway.

'A Good Soldier' - Homeland, Season One

Homeland

Season One

Episode Six

'The Good Soldier' - 7.5

Ug. 

Very good. Not perfect, just very, very good. I'm neither feeling up to reviewing or recapping, but I guess I can give it a go today. Homeland is one of those shows that is just so marvellously consistent that it is difficult to talk about what makes each episode worthwhile, almost entirely because it is the same aspects every episode.

So what happened in 'The Good Soldier'? Well following Afzal Hamid's suicide in the interrogation room Carrie has organised polygraph tests for everyone involved in his transport or questioning. She is confident that this will catch Brody out as the man responsible, and thus as a national security threat.

I enjoyed every single polygraph scene, they were all pretty indicative of the character's personalities. Carrie is surprisingly eager about doing hers, but she seems to fail on the questions about illegal drugs. Estes clearly just wants to be somewhere else, and doesn't react particularly well when asked about his marriage. Saul goes so far as to storm out of his first one, apparently you have to be in the right mood for one of these things. He fails in every question, including both his name and the question about the blade. We do have to wonder for a moment though, he was in the room with him the most; couldn't it have been him? Of course, his wife Mira had not long told him that she wanted to move to India without him, which can't help someone's stress levels. He gets through alright the second time though.

The Brody family attends a memorial service for Thomas Walker, the over half of Brody's sniper pair and the man he killed during their captivity. It is his job to deliver a friend's eulogy, a scene that I will admit I was a bit bored during. Funerals aren't the most interesting of events, and one for someone I've never actually met is even less so. Brody's speech was... awkward? It started with a jarring and brief flashback to his murder of his friend which cut into the heavy silence that prevails at these functions. It was almost a jump moment, and I believe completely unnecessary. We haven't forgotten he killed Walker, you don't need to remind us. Once Brody gets into the eulogy, it was entirely without gripping moments or dialogue, with his decision to do a roll call at the end almost... embarrassing, in its awkwardness.

The reception is held at the Brody house, probably just so the production crew didn't have to scout for another location. Of course it ends badly, with some asshole veteran getting into Brody over what happened to Walker and the foils of war and all that shit. He was just a drunk asshole, angry and jealous about his fellow soldiers sudden rise to fame over an unnecessary war. Anyway, during his tirade he lets slip that one of the marines present had wonderful sex with Jess, a suggestion that warrants a pummelling - from Mike. Oh yeah, that's keeping things under wraps. I'm pretty sure Brody knew before, but he reaction during the reception is pretty violent, pulling Mike off the asshole and giving his friend a few hard punches, as Jess watches from the sidelines.

Back at Langley, the investigation into Raqim Faisel has uncovered the existence of a Caucasian girlfriend, a statistical irregularity for an Arabic terrorist. The girl, Irene Margaret Morgan, we find to be the real ringleader of the pair, having received formal training in bombs and espionage. After being tipped off to the CIA's imminent raid of their home, the couple had fled to what they'd been told was a safe house. Ultimately this proved false, as the door was tripped to cause a bomb to go off, but luckily for Faisel, Irene was able to discern this before entering the house, but it did mean that their own side was not out to silence them.

Morgan and her man go to the nearest hotel to discuss their next move. Faisel wants to turn himself in, fearing that they will just be running forever, or just end up captured or dead. Irene is more keen on Mexico, wishing to avoid torture and incarceration at Guantanamo Bay. They never really get to come to a compromise in the end, because while Irene's in the bathroom a car pulls up, filling the room and Faisel full of holes, but leaving her unscathed. She manages to crawl out a window and to safety, probably about to make her way to Mexico.

After Brody's melt down at the reception, he storms out and hides in some dive, giving Carrie a call asking not to have to do the polygraph. Carrie comes to see him in person, and the two get to some serious talking that culminates in a shocking tryst in the back seat of her car. Seriously, it was a 'what the fucking fuck?' moment. I mean sure, they have acid/base chemistry going on, but sex on like the fourth time they've ever met is... Maybe Carrie's a whore? Regardless, it did allow for an incredibly awkward polygraph for Brody, especially once he passes the razor blade question without a hiccup. Carrie freaks, forcing the poor guy to ask him the same question over and over, each time Brody doesn't show a single sign of lying. We are left wondering though, as Carrie has the conductor ask Brody if he was faithful to his wife, which he answers with a lie, yet doesn't trip the heart monitor. So, Brody's worked out a polygraph machine? Probably makes sense for a sniper.

The episode ends with a disgruntled Carrie being found wandering the parking lot by an angry-looking Brody, who tells her almost threateningly to get in his car, which she seems happy to do. Kinky.

So what do I think? I don't. Really. It was fun and full of intrigue the way that Homeland always is, but 'The Good Soldier' seemed entirely built around Carrie and Brody hooking up at the bar, a moment of weakness for both that will no doubt have lasting and irreparable consequences for both. I thought the acting in the polygraph scenes were all fantastic, and I loved the look Brody gave the surveillance camera when he was asked about his fidelity. Ha! Look at all that menace. This guy's so evil.

'An Origin Story' - Fringe, Season Five

Fringe

Season Five

Episode Five

'An Origin Story' - 6.5

Anna Torv is my world right now. 

I think I've decided what this season needs: an enemy. No, not The Observers in general, I mean a singular, ultimate antagonist who we can picture and who can represent exactly who our heroes need to defeat. I am aware that there is that one Observer who seems to be the leader, but I don't remember his name and he has to say something vaguely authoritarian before I realise who he is. We desperately need someone different, someone who stands out as the ultimate bad guy, who will be defeated in the series finale and take his entire race down with him.

I'm not saying 'An Origin Story' was bad. In fact, in terms of acting, originality, direction and story this season of Fringe has been universally (except 'The Recordist) well done, except there is a notable lack of heart and an almost isolating shift from the tone of the first four seasons. The death of Etta had the potential to put that sense of character back into the show, and bring us back to the ultimate success: it's characters. And yeah, in that sense we get a good going, with Olivia, Peter and Walter all handling the loss in their own ways.

Walter is quick to remind his son and daughter-in-law (I think?) that he has actually suffered through the death of a child before, and though he handles the death fairly well, he is the one who throws himself into preserving her memory. This is demonstrated early on as our heroes clean out Etta's apartment, as he takes a bottle of her perfume because his sense of smell is what best feeds his memory, while Olivia and Peter take photos and guns, respectively. Later on his presents Olivia with a videotape showing one of Etta's birthdays (they totally used videotape on home cameras into the mid-2010s), and suggests she give it a proper look in order to embrace the pain, since it is 'proof that she was here'.

Olivia and Peter are the real focuses though, with both taking a big hit from the death. Olivia mostly holds her dignity, apart from a brief moment in the opening scene, until Walter presents her with the tape, which prompts her to warn him that she's 'holding on by a thread'. Of the parents, I have to say I appreciated Anna Torv's portrayal more, as the few moments of anguished grief she did have managed to remain understated yet powerful. 'An Origin Story' doesn't choose to present displaced or over-the-top emotion, rather we get the views of two people who were somewhat prepared for this eventuality, and who had essentially been through it before. I don't think either really expected to be fighting the battle with their daughter anyhow, and it was largely icing on an unsavoury cake, or maybe even a brick or something.

Olivia's best scene was when she did finally decide to give the tape a go, breaking into Olivia-tears and pretty much drunk-dialling Peter to tell him how much she loves him. It was depressing, but like the rest of the episode it was also believable. On a deeper level, they aren't surprised, which does explain why the two at times are functioning better than most TV parents would. 

Peter is having just a few issues though, with the biggest one being rage. All he wants is to stick it to the Observers and watch them suffer, and he does get to engage in some eerie Observer-torture tonight. After a delivery from the future arrives, bringing new components for the CO2 generators, the resistance comes up with a plan to try and destroy the wormhole allowing these time travelling freights to come through. It involves deciphering both a strange wormhole-opening box and a book, which had come from a captured Observer.

Peter gets down to business trying to pull information from the unnamed enemy, who spends the entire episode strapped to a bed. He takes obvious pleasure in his treatment of his subject, clearly hell bent on avenging the loss of his daughter, using 'tells' to try and get him to inadvertently reveal how to utilise the device.

In the end though, the Observer reveals that Peter had put meaning in things that do not have meaning, and had misread the tells, meaning that when the group tries to use the device to destroy the wormhole it doesn't work. In revenge, Peter decides to steal the technology that makes a human into one of these Observers and implant it into itself. We don't get the implications of this tonight, but it was worth it just to see the Observer in its death throes as Peter cut into his back. Gross and violent, but so rewarding.

There are a couple of ways this could go: Peter is granted the powers of an Observer, including super speed and such, but also is given the dependence on CO2, the loss of hair, all that shit meaning that once they defeat them he will die. The tech could react badly to him as he is kind of an anomaly, resulting in him either dying or forcing Walter to remove it from him, which might also kill him. Maybe. Conversely, it could react strangely but give him even more intense powers, allowing him to easily overcome the other Observers, with no adverse side effects. This last one could also lead to a different, more interesting tangent: if he became an all-powerful Observer, perhaps the tech will also cause him to sway to their side, becoming the recognisable and distinctive face of the enemy for the final showdown. Of course, only one or two of these doesn't result in the death of Peter, but it is the final season so who cares about death?