'TS-19' - The Walking Dead, Season One

The Walking Dead

Season One

Episode Six

'TS-19' - 9.0

This is like a role call for the show, with all but six of the thirteen characters seen here no longer with us. 

You can tell from any specific episode of The Walking Dead that this show is not the cheeriest piece of popular culture. Every one of the last three parts of this season has featured the death of at least one of the group of survivors. In 'Vatos' we lost Amy and Ed, 'Wildfire' left Jim on the roadside and 'TS-19' sees another of the group bumped off, along with new character Dr. Jenner.

But death and misfortune aren't in the focus until the last twenty minutes of the season finale, with the rest being oddly optimistic and happy. This doesn't include the out-of-place flashback which opens the episode, focusing on Shane as he tries to rescue a still comatose Rick from the hospital. At the time the hospital was being overrun by soldiers and zombies, and Shane's determination and desperation to save his friend juxtapose nicely to what he is today. He even braves the military as they begin to massacre the people still located in the building, staying long enough to search for any vital signs of Rick's, only to come to the conclusion that he's already gone. Deciding to protect his friend, despite his apparent death, Shane places the gurney seen in 'Days Gone Bye' in front of his door, to prevent the walkers from getting in.

What a lot of shows like to do is redeem a character who is originally portrayed as a villain to main heroes, but while Shane's actions are commendable, in my view it highlights how far he has sunk because of his relationship with Lori. I'm not overly sure what the intention of the flashback was, whether we are supposed to like Shane now or if we are supposed to still despise him. I just don't know. Nonetheless, it is the most action packed location of any scene to that point, presenting a chaotic, foggy mess of blood and pain and death, and our first look at the world during the actual spread of the infection, rather than what happened immediately before or after it.

Once the credits have rolled and we get into the present day, we cut to the point immediately following last episode's ending; the group entering the CDC near Atlanta. Rick and the other survivors are slightly disconcerted by the lack of staff located at the facility, with Dr. Jenner revealed to be the only scientist remaining, though you could have assumed that from 'Wildfire'. Soon enough though, everyone decides to enjoy the food, the power and the hot water provided, but to the viewers it is implied that something is very much amiss.

As the survivors acclimatise to a normal existence of bathing, reading and sleeping for entire nights, we spend about fifteen minutes exploring who these characters are once the horrors of the outside world behind them. Dale comforts Andrea more as she continues to struggle with the death of Amy, as well as her assumption from Jenner's words and mannerisms that the whole of civilisation has crumpled in its entirety. I like Andrea, if only for Laurie Holden's gripping performance and delivery, and how easily she turns from strong to broken.

Andrew Lincoln gets to portray a different side of his generally strong character, as Rick admits to Dr. Jenner that he had begun to lose hope in his and the others' survival. It is the first time we have seen the weaker side of our protagonist, and this is something I am very eager to see more of. Unflappable, honourable heroes are seriously dull. Watch Terra Nova for an example of how not to do a main character. In fact, I've had minor issues with the stereotypical way in which Rick Grimes was presented earlier in this season, but he's improved on a deeper level to become a very multi-layered hero, with both potential for good and bad under the surface.

The most powerful pre-disaster development at the CDC belongs to Lori and Shane. Shane demonstrated last episode how he feels about Rick's return, coming very close to putting a bullet in the man he tried to rescue only a few months ago. His relationship with Lori, if I were to make a guess, is the only thing that Shane can accept as a benefit from the destruction of life-as-he-knows-it, and thus the only thing that needs to be held on to. Of course, I could be reading into something that is just supposed to be a point of conflict, with no great underlying meaning, but the way in which Shane confronts Lori in 'TS-19' is almost brutal. Finding her alone in the recreation room, the very drunk man begins trying to explain to her why he thought  Rick was dead. There's a possibility that the flashback at the start of the episode was only there to give this scene sense and a context. After Lori refuses to accept that Shane told her that her husband had died in order to get her out of their town, he resorts to telling her how much they are in love with one another, cause that always works in the movies right? Soon enough, it gets worse once Shane starts literally forcing himself on (and maybe in) a frightened Lori, who manages to give her former lover a nice big scrape with her fingernails, thus ending the conversation. It was intense for a show I had thought would be just an action-horror when I first tuned in, and a brave move by the writers. The attempted rape doesn't really lead to anything in the episode, since problems quickly arise that are more pressing matters for the pair, but I can tell this is going to end very badly for someone.

Eventually the survivors begin demanding answers about the disease, it is the CDC after all. Dr. Jenner shows the group a video of the death and reanimation of TS-19. It's difficult to describe without seeing it, but the entire sequence of the subject's transition is absolutely perfect. There is no sound from the video itself, but there is a terrific score and Jenner's narration is reflective and beautiful. Hell, the whole thing was beautiful, colours, acting (especially from Andrea), script, lighting, every damn thing is immaculate.

From the video we lead directly to the big problem of the episode - when the power in the facility runs out, the building blows itself up. It's a great plot twist, though it was an obvious next step to keep the characters running. It also gives them all a chance to make a choice - eventually Jenner gives them the option of staying or going, with everyone but Jenner himself, Jacqui and Andrea deciding to make a run for it. With Andrea staying, Dale refuses to leave as well, forcing her to choose between surviving or killing them both. Dale's lecture of her was a marvellous performance from Jeffery DeMunn, and hints at a possible romance between in the two characters in the future, even if it is a little creepy.

Luckily Andrea relents and the two make it out of the CDC, just as it goes up in a massive ball of orange fire and black smoke that rises above them all in a glorious mushroom cloud that sends out the first season of this impeccable drama.  Sure, the CGI was a little wonky, but it still looked good and was as spectacular as they intended for it to be. I did like how they seemed to decide not to end on a cliffhanger, choosing instead to have the group simply moving on from another tragedy, and back into the real world.

I guess that is the final notion of the Walking Dead; the horrors are inescapable, and the only options you have sometimes are to survive, or to not. So 'TS-19' continued the groups constant fleeing from the end of the world, and even if it had a bit of a slow start - or middle, the flashback cold-open was pretty awesome - the episode was as softly spoken yet loud and callous as the show loves to be. There was the lovely mix of characters and their gain and loss that will definitely not end, and it was a fine instalment to go out on, leaving any viewer fervent for the show's sophomore outing. 

'Hounded' - The Walking Dead, Season Three

The Walking Dead

Season Three

Episode Six

'Hounded' - 7.5

Whenever characters get coated in zombie blood, I remember the eye-contamination scene from '28 Days Later'. 

You know how characters in television shows seem to experience weird, grief-stricken moments of schizophrenic hallucinations, such as talking to the deceased person and such? Having never really lost anyone particularly close to me, I can’t attest to the realism of such occurrences, but for the most part TV manages to make them seem a tad trite and a little stupid, yet Rick's phone chat with some of those we've lost was surprisingly affecting.

Amy, Jeff and Jacqui join Lori in their cryptic messages to poor Rick, who is led to believe that the initially unknown voices are safe in some secure location. This I guess has two meanings: first, Rick needs to get a fucking grip. Second, the only real salvation IS real salvation. That's depressing, though Rick only seems to focus on the first conclusion.

I did wonder where Dale was, though I guess Rick had a few issues with the moral man shortly before his death, unlike the others he talked to. I certainly didn't expect to hear from Shane. Maybe Dale's voice would have been too recognisable early on? 

Michonne has a pretty good day, slicing and dicing her way to freedom from the Governor's hounds. It was pretty goddamn tense, as it was Merle - who I don't really mind too much - versus Michonne, and it was starting to look like they weren't both going to survive. However, they both manage to make it out of their predicaments, even if Merle loses two of his four-man crew, then puts a bullet in the other when he got too keen on capturing the escapee.

I didn't see Merle's meeting with Glen and Maggie coming, especially considering that Michonne was already there. It is interesting that the Woodbury and prison populations are about to start mixing, as Michonne actually turned up at Rick's fence, covered in blood and carrying the basket of baby formula that Glen and Maggie had been retrieving. So who will turn up at the other's door first? Best case scenario would be Rick making a pilgrimage of peace to the Governor, as if he has to come first then we know shit's going to hit the fan. However, with Michonne being the prison-folk's tourist guide to Woodbury, I can't see them rushing off to meet up with the evil militia.

Nonetheless, what the writers have done in one episode sets all our characters up for a hell of a battle that - unlike the Governor's barrage of the military convoy earlier this season - could be an even match. Not only has the Governor lost a handful of capable soldiers, but his targets now have their own able fighter, who knows a little inside information on them. At the same time, Andrea will end up being in the centre of it all, along with Glenn and Maggie. That's assuming all three of them survive to the confrontation, as presumably the latter two will be tortured until their give up their group's location. Andrea's pretty much guaranteed to make it to the fight, now that she's sharing the Governor's bed.

Oh yeah, Andrea fucked the Governor. And what do I say to that? Finally! The two have been ogling each other since they met (which was only three episodes ago), and this was clearly the direction we were heading in. Yeah, I'm sure the Governor has some fiendish plot in mind for the poor woman, and we can't really be sure what Andrea's getting out of it - she did sleep with Shane that one time as well - but I have no qualms with this relationship. Hopefully it will lead to some good quality horribleness.

As normal there was some jarring moments of flinch-worthy violence, such as Michonne slicing two of Merle's crew in half, then later spilling the insides of an attacking walker all over herself. She'll clearly need to throw that outfit away once she's in the confines of the prison. Daryl also got to pull an off-target knife from under the skin of a downed walker's chin, revealing it to be Carol's. This then lead to a remarkably pleasant scene which had Daryl rip open a door, his blade raised to kill whatever lay inside, only to find a weary and bloodstained Carol. Her disappearance had clearly been affecting the poor guy for a while, so more for his sake than hers I'm exceedingly happy to see the character back in the fold and presumably alive. 

The arrival of Michonne, the healing of Rick, the rescue of Carol. All these things seem like a happy ending, even if Michonne will only inform them that two of their group have been kidnapped. Of course, she might just end up being treated like the original prisoners and either being killed or being locked in a separate wing. Or maybe they'll just look at her loneliness, her knowledge and her baby formula and realise that she could be of use. She might have to lose the katana though. 

'A Gettysburg Address' - Homeland, Season Two

Homeland

Season Two

Episode Six

'A Gettysburg Address' -  7.0

'Remember that time we spent in backseat heaven? Welcome to front seat hell.'

I thought last week was intense! Hello, machine gun-wielding men in black! 

I had come to the conclusion that Galvez was actually the mole, so imagine my surprise when he was gunned down just as haphazardly as Quinn, Chapman and the four or so other agents sifting through the deceased tailor's digs. Of course, Quinn doesn't die, at least not blatantly, so we can expect to see a bit more of him. 

It all went down because someone was clearly watching the tailor's place to ensure that it wasn't raided, so when it was they had to rush in a retrieve whatever big of incriminating evidence lay behind the false wall. My question however, is why they didn't retrieve it earlier? Why wait until the CIA were actually in the building before moving in. Did they want to make an example out of the CIA? Hopefully this is the case, as it makes a lot more sense than 'we waited two weeks and suddenly it became urgent'. When Roya points out that it had taken two weeks before it was investigated properly hints that maybe this was the reasoning.

Can I just say how much better Roya Hammad is now that she is a known enemy, rather than the mysterious middle man for Abu Nazir? Everyone knows she's evil, but she doesn't know that she's been made. It is entirely against her controlling, dominating character and it is pleasurable waiting for her to start squirming, even if I have to endure Brody squirming all the while.

There is just this one issue, and I have been over it before: why trust Brody? He's a confessed jihadist and someone with a known desire to cripple America, why recruit him into the fucking CIA? You have to question whether jeopardising every single operative on the team is worth the possible link to Abu Nazir.

Just so you know, I'm currently talking to Centrelink on the telephone as I try to concentrate on writing this review. I'm pretty new to this adult responsibility thing, but I see why everyone hates to talk to this crazy corporation. I've been listening to awful hold music for the duration of my time at the desk here, interspersed with the jarring ring tone and almost motivational slogans only a government organisation would throw at you. 'Sick of rebellion? OBEY THE AUTHORITY!!! Live happy!'. Ok, it's nothing like that, but you get the idea.

In the world of Dana Brody, things are just as complicated. Well that's a giant lie, as her plot seems ripped straight from the pages of any soap opera script. Dana gets all emotional and flighty after talking with the daughter of the woman they ran over last episode, and once again we find the main character being the moral compass in a crime duo, with the little known boyfriend being the dick. Why is the main cast always so righteous? Discounting the fact she should have gone to the police by now, we are clearly supposed to be on her side in this whole mess, but it's such a tired storyline that I'm not really on anyone's side.

All I want from you, Homeland, is to give us a story about Brody and Carrie. If this hit-and-run plot is going to tie in beautifully with theirs then go about your business, but if you are going to wrap this up with no ultimate connection then FUCKING GET IT OVER AND DONE WITH. Dana-schmana. I kind of wanted Carrie to strangle her in the season finale anyway.

'A Good Soldier' - Homeland, Season One

Homeland

Season One

Episode Six

'The Good Soldier' - 7.5

Ug. 

Very good. Not perfect, just very, very good. I'm neither feeling up to reviewing or recapping, but I guess I can give it a go today. Homeland is one of those shows that is just so marvellously consistent that it is difficult to talk about what makes each episode worthwhile, almost entirely because it is the same aspects every episode.

So what happened in 'The Good Soldier'? Well following Afzal Hamid's suicide in the interrogation room Carrie has organised polygraph tests for everyone involved in his transport or questioning. She is confident that this will catch Brody out as the man responsible, and thus as a national security threat.

I enjoyed every single polygraph scene, they were all pretty indicative of the character's personalities. Carrie is surprisingly eager about doing hers, but she seems to fail on the questions about illegal drugs. Estes clearly just wants to be somewhere else, and doesn't react particularly well when asked about his marriage. Saul goes so far as to storm out of his first one, apparently you have to be in the right mood for one of these things. He fails in every question, including both his name and the question about the blade. We do have to wonder for a moment though, he was in the room with him the most; couldn't it have been him? Of course, his wife Mira had not long told him that she wanted to move to India without him, which can't help someone's stress levels. He gets through alright the second time though.

The Brody family attends a memorial service for Thomas Walker, the over half of Brody's sniper pair and the man he killed during their captivity. It is his job to deliver a friend's eulogy, a scene that I will admit I was a bit bored during. Funerals aren't the most interesting of events, and one for someone I've never actually met is even less so. Brody's speech was... awkward? It started with a jarring and brief flashback to his murder of his friend which cut into the heavy silence that prevails at these functions. It was almost a jump moment, and I believe completely unnecessary. We haven't forgotten he killed Walker, you don't need to remind us. Once Brody gets into the eulogy, it was entirely without gripping moments or dialogue, with his decision to do a roll call at the end almost... embarrassing, in its awkwardness.

The reception is held at the Brody house, probably just so the production crew didn't have to scout for another location. Of course it ends badly, with some asshole veteran getting into Brody over what happened to Walker and the foils of war and all that shit. He was just a drunk asshole, angry and jealous about his fellow soldiers sudden rise to fame over an unnecessary war. Anyway, during his tirade he lets slip that one of the marines present had wonderful sex with Jess, a suggestion that warrants a pummelling - from Mike. Oh yeah, that's keeping things under wraps. I'm pretty sure Brody knew before, but he reaction during the reception is pretty violent, pulling Mike off the asshole and giving his friend a few hard punches, as Jess watches from the sidelines.

Back at Langley, the investigation into Raqim Faisel has uncovered the existence of a Caucasian girlfriend, a statistical irregularity for an Arabic terrorist. The girl, Irene Margaret Morgan, we find to be the real ringleader of the pair, having received formal training in bombs and espionage. After being tipped off to the CIA's imminent raid of their home, the couple had fled to what they'd been told was a safe house. Ultimately this proved false, as the door was tripped to cause a bomb to go off, but luckily for Faisel, Irene was able to discern this before entering the house, but it did mean that their own side was not out to silence them.

Morgan and her man go to the nearest hotel to discuss their next move. Faisel wants to turn himself in, fearing that they will just be running forever, or just end up captured or dead. Irene is more keen on Mexico, wishing to avoid torture and incarceration at Guantanamo Bay. They never really get to come to a compromise in the end, because while Irene's in the bathroom a car pulls up, filling the room and Faisel full of holes, but leaving her unscathed. She manages to crawl out a window and to safety, probably about to make her way to Mexico.

After Brody's melt down at the reception, he storms out and hides in some dive, giving Carrie a call asking not to have to do the polygraph. Carrie comes to see him in person, and the two get to some serious talking that culminates in a shocking tryst in the back seat of her car. Seriously, it was a 'what the fucking fuck?' moment. I mean sure, they have acid/base chemistry going on, but sex on like the fourth time they've ever met is... Maybe Carrie's a whore? Regardless, it did allow for an incredibly awkward polygraph for Brody, especially once he passes the razor blade question without a hiccup. Carrie freaks, forcing the poor guy to ask him the same question over and over, each time Brody doesn't show a single sign of lying. We are left wondering though, as Carrie has the conductor ask Brody if he was faithful to his wife, which he answers with a lie, yet doesn't trip the heart monitor. So, Brody's worked out a polygraph machine? Probably makes sense for a sniper.

The episode ends with a disgruntled Carrie being found wandering the parking lot by an angry-looking Brody, who tells her almost threateningly to get in his car, which she seems happy to do. Kinky.

So what do I think? I don't. Really. It was fun and full of intrigue the way that Homeland always is, but 'The Good Soldier' seemed entirely built around Carrie and Brody hooking up at the bar, a moment of weakness for both that will no doubt have lasting and irreparable consequences for both. I thought the acting in the polygraph scenes were all fantastic, and I loved the look Brody gave the surveillance camera when he was asked about his fidelity. Ha! Look at all that menace. This guy's so evil.

'Lost Girls' - The Vampire Diaries, Season One

The Vampire Diaries

Season One

Episode Six

'Lost Girls' - 3.0

Of the three faces here; one can't act, another's Paul Wesley and one's a statue. 

Apart from talking about what actually occurred in the episode, I'm really at a loss as to what to talk about here. It gets that way with nearly all the Vampire Diaries episodes so far. They are actually pretty bad, especially for the first part of the first season. While many would argue that a show is only just finding its feet, I argue it is just finding its audience. Of all times, the first few episodes are what should hook the viewers in and keep them captivated. Why did this show start so awful?

So, why is 'Lost Girls' just no good? I mean it is not the worst the show has given us - hello, Pilot episode - but it definitely a failed attempt to be dramatic and eventful. Yes, Elena definitively discovers the existence of vampires. Yes, Vicki Donovan is killed and turned by Damon. I'll admit, it is two big events for two characters, but what about the others? Tyler, Caroline and Bonnie don't even make an appearance, instead we get to see Nina Dobrev play two roles surprisingly badly while Stefan attempts to explain why vampires aren't all evil and Damon runs through the supporting cast. Not even likable supporting cast members either! He just kills the ones we don't like - now that's an emotional hit, seeing Logan Fell get sucked dry. You know, I'll weep into my pillow over this. Notice sarcasm?

Damon, who actually does some shit, doesn't get any better. He just whines about Stefan having his ring and then spends a good part of the episode dancing half-naked with Vicki - pre-vampirism. I'm sure that sequence was supposed to be funny, but it wasn't. I didn't want to see Ian Somerhalder's chest thrown at me for like five minutes,  I'm sure girls would, but not me. Screw you, Somerhalder. I don't like you.

The death of Vicki occurs at the end of the dance number, and I'll admit that it was... pleasurable? I don't know, I enjoyed that bit, even if the preceding dialogue cemented Vicki's 'death', entirely ridding her subsequent 'death' of any shock value. I mean, I don't like Vicki, she's a depressing, slutty junkie who needs to be removed as soon as possible, but her transition could spell good things for the show as a whole, as now the weak down-trodden girl can take some vampire vengeance. Hoorah! Stake Damon, Vicki. Do it, you know you want to.

So, what else happened? Oh yeah, Elena moaned about Stefan being a vampire, acting all scared and disturbed, but we all know she'll get over it, and it looks like so does Nina Dobrev. She was taking Elena's shock realising about as seriously as you take Barberella. There was so little emotion going on back there, I had trouble caring one iota about her. Although, I have to give her some props for the break up scene with Stefan at the end of the episode, it was well acted and her tears look genuine, though I can't let it make up for the shit she had trodden through the episode earlier. You know what else she did? Entirely ruined Katherine's big introduction! We spend the last five episodes building up Katherine as this manipulative force to be reckoned with, and sure she's a vampire which is kind of a shock, but Dobrev failed on every account to bring her to life. Ha, pun. Anyway, I know that she will improve as the vampire vixen, but in 'Lost Girls' she was pretty horrid.

Anything else? No, not really. Nothing worth mentioning at all. Screw you Vampire Diaries. GET GOOD ALREADY.

'Diabolical' - 666 Park Avenue, Season One

666 Park Avenue

Season One

Episode Six

'Diabolical' - 7.5

For four episodes there, this is kind of what 666 Park Avenue reminded me of. Are they being ironic?

After the wrath of Hurricane Sandy laid waste to the sets of the newest horror drama, the future of 666 Park Avenue is looking as bleak as the realm Gavin sends his traitorous colleague into - before decapitating him and delivering the head to his enemy. Honestly though, that would just make me sad, as 'Diabolical' actually brought the show that little step closer to actually proving that it is a GOOD show. There weren't any chills or any surprises, but there was a bit of suspense, some nice developments and a little acting magic that combined to make the episode almost as fun as last week's jarringly enjoyable instalment.

Much like American Horror Story, 666 Park Avenue is a loving testament to the horror movies of old, presenting the cold open as a pointless, but quite adequate redo of the famous Psycho shower scene. I was appreciative of the shot showing the slightly obscured axe-wielding psychopath moving towards Jane in the reflection of a shaving mirror, it was well done. We got a very similar sequence to that of the Psycho murder, if slightly stream-lined, and I was definitely impressed. The not-so-long-ago remake of the 1960 masterpiece showed that faithful frame-by-frame remakes kind of suck, so the beautiful montage that opening 'Diabolical' was a much more affectionate and praise-worthy. Even I can simply reshoot Psycho. 

I called it when I said that tonight would feature Jane's sanity coming into serious question, but I didn't realise the exact extent that that would go to. In just one episode she seems to lose Henry, gain a friend in a trusting and open-minded copper as well as discover her links to the ill-fated family from 1929. Turns out the little girl is her grandmother, which is no shock at all. In fact, I kind of assumed she worked that out a few episodes ago.

For Jane though, her storyline was improved by one thing; Rachel Taylor. For the first REAL time (screaming doesn't count) I can see why she was cast as the lead; she was damn good with Dave Annable as the two really fought and Henry eventually walked out. It had clearly been where the episode had been heading, and people outside of the relationship had been either intentionally or accidentally turning our heroes against each other. Henry's new advisor Laurel Harris worries that Jane will not be able to understand his ambitions, while one of the  detectives investigating the attempt on Jane sows seeds of doubt in her boyfriend's mind. This is of course aided by the fact that the Drake has hidden all evidence that the crime occurred, with even the dumbwaiter being made to look unusable. 

The theft of Gavin's box is handled as well as I hoped it would be, with the contents being hinted at being the soul of Olivia's abusive former lover. It isn't confirmed or anything though, all we know is that whatever is inside like sucked the essence out of the first guy who opened it, forcing the real big bad - Victor Shaw, one of Gavin's former victims I believe - to burn the resulting catatonic body, just as its eyes go funky. There is something very mysterious inside the box, something very powerful and very evil, and I am definitely excited to discover just what it is; if the show isn't axed.

The unfortunate fate of Gavin's colleague was enjoyable, with his soul at first doomed to traverse the never ending corridors of some hellish realm before Gavin simply shows up and cuts his head off, presenting it to Shaw as some warning. Honestly if I was the director I wouldn't have shown what was exactly in the gift box presented to the villain, because it was damn obvious. I guess that Shaw's reaction was worth it though, as all he did was give a very sly, confident smile as he looked at his co-conspirator's severed head. Very suitably creepy, and Nick Chinlund is very effective in the role, even if he is playing a typical, powerful and cold foil. He's still cool.

Perhaps the improvement in quality stemmed from the complete lack of Brian, Louise and Alexis, and the story managed to be more focused, with the main plots concerning only Jane and Gavin. Louise's dodgy doctor pal also gets some scenes to himself as he too falls prey to the Drake's conniving landlord and takes a $50,000 loan which he immediately squanders on a gambling habit. Unnecessary? Definitely, but he's forced allegiance to Gavin did put an old player back in the game, with Kandinsky apparently being freed by the manipulated doctor to help with Victor Shaw. This could be great, considering how unpredictable the Soviet maniac is.

So in the end 'Diabolical' didn't actually cause any sudden changes or make me shocked, as it was really an in-between episode that is sure to set up many massive plot developments down the line. Kandinsky's return will have violent implications for everyone, I'm sure, and now that we've met the perpetrator between the last episode's shenanigans Shaw will probably bring all kinds of hell down on the Drake, but I'm honestly more excited to see Gavin retaliating. He's already locked some guy in an eternal prison then chopped his head off, as well as releasing an unstoppable psychopath. Fun! 

'Sex and Drugs' - Revolution, Season One

Revolution

Season One

Episode Six

'Sex and Drugs' - 7.5

Star prediction: Should Tracy Spiridakos' career take off, it will likely be filled with her boobies, ala Anna Paquin

And so, after five horrid episodes that came disconcertingly close to shredding my patience and trust in television, JJ Abrams' newest epic serial Revolution delivers an episode that didn't make me want to kill myself. In fact, it was a down-right - dare I say it - fun instalment. Not just 'fun' in the dumb sense, but actually respectable and enjoyable. I'm serious!

The aspect of 'Sex and Drugs' that differentiates it from past outings was all in Charlie, who was mere inches away from breaking the boundaries of the average television protagonist to become a tough, capable girl who is able to do the hard things when they are required of her. Sure, Miles fucking swoops in and saves the day at the last minute, preventing her from killing a somewhat likeable and honourable man, but the intention was there. She even started the final descent, bringing her knife down towards his eye, only to have her arm caught by her retarded uncle. 

There are always logic holes in this tale: why couldn't they have killed him? Ok, this isn't so much logic, but I don't see why Miles couldn't have come in a few seconds later to discover his niece covered in innocent blood and eye jelly, then whisks her away to safety like he does? Normally I wouldn't call for such life to be lost, but I just think by preventing her from doing the deed the writers have purposely and idiotically outdone the progress the character made during the episode, turning her back into the moralistic whiney bitch she was before.

I do have to say though; Tracy Spiridakos really came into the role tonight. After five episodes coming across as largely non-committal, she seemed to relish being able to play a character with strength and questionable morals, an anti-hero rather than a straight-up good guy. It's the smarter, more relatable protagonist, and though when you watch the scene with the farmer you don't want him to die, you realise afterwards what a great story was squandered just to maintain the status quo. Despite what many previews have claimed, Revolution is not a show that has the balls to do things any differently. It's about war, yet what collateral damage have our heroes caused?

In another surprising twist, I actually enjoyed the flashbacks, which this time featured the largely unexplored Aaron. Zak Orth, who at first played a standard background foil, has come to be the voice of reason for the group, and that has been endlessly irritating. I have always despised the voice of reason, as their reasons are always stupid. 'Don't do this cause it's wrong!' 'Yeah, well what about the people who'll fucking die if I fucking don't do it you fucking ass'. Luckily, he also grew in my eyes, but only because he goes back on his word by killing the episode's antagonist; Drexel. Anyway, in the flashbacks we see that Aaron was always a punce, but he was a punce with a beautiful wife who - despite my initial judgements - loved him, and didn't just want him for the money. However after a group of bandits raid their post-blackout camp, he realises how utterly useless he is to everybody and leaves his poor wife alone, venturing off on some suicidal solo journey. We don't learn the wife's name, but she wasn't a bad actress, so something tells me we will see more of her.

It was only an episode or so ago that I actually realised that the flashbacks were here to stay. I thought that JJ Abrams wouldn't have the audacity to pull two flashback-heavy shows - A successful and boundless gimmick in Lost's case, a tired and limited trope in Revolution's - under his own name. I honestly think it was a stupid decision, and he could have had the gonads to try and pull a few spoken expository moments, rather than inundate us with generally boring footage of unimportant events. Characterisation is a yay, definitely, but only when the character is worth building upon. Yes, Aaron's flashbacks were successful, but he isn't particularly enthralling. 

The dramatic gun play between Nora and Aaron at the end was the best part of course, as I definitely didn't expect Aaron to shoot himself, let alone shoot Drexel. Good show, and good shot. I did think that he was going to die, and for a moment there I was so proud of this show, but then he had a fucking whiskey bottle in his pocket. It all turned out for the best, and we did get an awkward 'you did, but she didn't?' scene between Aaron and Charlie at the end there. 

I actually really, really liked Drexel. He was a fun, sadistic drug lord with a harlem of whores, heroin and adrenaline - God knows where he got the later - and he was played with complete abandon by Todd Stashwick. I was a bit put off by his death, but probably more so by the complete indifference of his guards. That one dude was pretty much just 'yeah, whatever man. My drugs now!' before letting Nora and Aaron go. Rightio.

Drexel, a better Charlie, a well aimed quick shot and some adequate flashbacks made for a fun experience which for the first time brought me whiffs of The Walking Dead or any other superior apocalypse dramas. Hopefully the edgy villains and the questionable heroes are going to come a bit thicker and faster - and no, Miles' quasi-mercenary style doesn't count as a 'questionable hero' - and we can really see this show emerge from its already withered bud to reveal a brilliant and unique flower. Look at that, metaphor. It was shit, yeah, but riskier than anything this show has done. Kill Miles! 

'The Cure' - Fringe, Season One

Fringe

Season One

Episode Six

The Cure - 6.5

'Insert something vulgar about Anna Torv's chest'

Were this a real blog, I would be detailing that I feel like absolute crap. My head feels like it is floating, I can't keep my eyes open and I have a bucket beside me cause I think I might throw up. Because of all this I'll keep it brief (if you are wondering, I try to write reviews almost straight away, before I have a chance to forget anything).

'The Cure' starts with a spectacular opening sequence - a young girl walks into a diner, she accidentally kills everyone and then her head explodes. It is tragic, because not a single person present deserved to die, and almost everyone had been trying to help the poor woman while her brain began to boil. Fringe is always good for a way-out-there cold open, and this is possibly the best so far. It is extremely violent, and the visual of her head bursting all over the glass window was disgusting and unforgettable.

It turns out that the woman has some made-up disease, the radical treatment for which has made her a candidate for weaponisation. Coolio, that kinda makes sense. Something about radiation-releasing particles in her blood. Whatever man, I don't really care about the explanations anyway. All I know is that it had a fantastic beginning and a fantastic ending. The middle, however, was a little long winded and mostly involved Olivia sulking around and doing illegal things to corporate moguls.

I mean, sure, it's her birthday and she doesn't like her birthday, but Olivia's mood was over-the-top cold tonight. Hopefully this isn't an annual occurrence. Although, it gave Anna Torv some great chances to stretch her acting muscles, especially in the suicide scene, during her conversation with Esterbrook and in her feminist monologue with Agent Broyles. All terrific moments for a terrific actress.

Walter also got some good moments, if only because of his hilarious dialogue - 'Expendable gerbils' being the pick of a large litter. Fringe really is a gifted show in a cast and crew sense.

I found the rich-guy-is-evil theme and even the feminism bits veering towards preachy though, and that is always a tad irritating, especially when sick. Lost was also full of messages and morals at points, and those were generally of low quality. Hopefully Fringe learns to steer clear of trying to teach us lessons about how we live our lives and stick to the weird and gruesome cases of the week – and its out-there mythology as well. 

'Ging Gang Goolie' - Boardwalk Empire, Season Three

Boardwalk Empire

Season Three

Episode Six

'Ging Gang Goolie' - 6.5

'I want incest you so bad'

Did anyone else get 'Ging Gang Goolie' stuck in their head after the scene at the Boy Scout function? It's an awful, awful song but it's just permanently engrained in my mind, and is sadly about the only thing that remains from the as-such entitled instalment of Boardwalk Empire.

Now, admittedly, it is always difficult to justify a negative review of Boardwalk Empire. It looks damn good, the acting is superb, blah blah blah intelligent, blah blah. The show, like Game of Thrones or Buffy the Vampire Slayer can almost be considered objectively good - of course I could say your mileage may vary, but I hold fast to the belief that for any of these three shows, if you don't like them then you're kidding yourself and/or don't watch enough television to appreciate actual quality. Too much of ‘the Vampire Diaries’, perhaps, that you've forgotten what makes a TV series different or interesting.

Maybe the focus on Margaret and Nucky's relationship was a mistake, as well as the absence of the most interesting character right now, Gyp Rosetti, who is obviously recovering from the attempt on his life last episode. Nucky gets put in jail and fined $5, all because his former ally Attorney General Harry Daugherty needed a temporary scapegoat, and wanted to teach our protagonist a lesson. I know we've met Daugherty, but I am not overly familiar with him. I couldn't remember his name when he first showed up tonight, and in the end he has little effect on the proceedings other than inspiring his enemy to take Remus (the guy who says his own name a lot) down, and possibly Daugherty himself. I don't know.

At least Gillian got a sex scene in, although it was with a man who looks an awful lot like her son. I often feel a bit sorry for Gretchen Mol, as even though she plays the role with strength and ability, she still portrays a thoroughly unlikeable and strange woman, who has an incestuous fixation on her own (deceased) son. There is a depressing factor here in that he's dead and such, but it's still creepy and I wish she'd stop it. 

Did anyone understand what was going on with this gypsy/vagrant lurking near Margaret's house? I hear that he starts a fire early on, but 'gypsy', as Teddy calls it, is terribly close to 'Gyp', and he does say that the gypsy lived somewhere else and has only just come to town. It's eerie and suspenseful, but doesn't lead anywhere but to Margaret and Owen Sleater hooking up in the greenhouse. 

You know who I like? Gaston Means. His actor, Stephen Root, plays him as confident and with a degree of cheesy flamboyancy, and it is all appreciated. Means is hilarious no matter what he's saying or doing, and even though he should be subordinate he still owns his superiors with seemingly helpful quips that are equally belittling. He's fantastic, and just as good to watch as Gyp Rosetti, if for different reasons. His presence tonight was entertaining, as always, and the prospect of him joining up with Nucky to take down his own boss is an exciting prospect. Means for President!

'Ging Gang Goolie' was nowhere near as memorable as the song it's named after, and in reality was just as evasive as the show always gets. I can see that Boardwalk Empire is a complex show, but maybe twelve episodes is too many. They end up introducing all these unnecessary and uneventful side plots that it later feels it needs to resolve. I reckon there are easily two episodes worth of scenes that could be removed to make the show breezier and simpler. Yes, of course intelligent is good, but I can't always follow this show and it's starting to really piss me off. I'm just waiting for someone to pull out a gun and shoot everybody, then I'll be happy. 

'Family Limitation' - Boardwalk Empire, Season One

Boardwalk Empire

Season One

Episode Six

‘Family Limitation’ – 7.0

Director to Paz De La Huerta: 'No dear, pretend you're in a porn movie. No, not that porn movie.'

It’s just not gonna stop is it?

We have to meet every character, then we have to delve as deep as we can into the personalities and histories of these characters, then we have to re-evaluate who the characters are, and THEN we might get some proper plot.

I’m not calling Boardwalk Empire low on substance, characterisation is substance, and yes it is technically plot, but I want the actual story to get going. I don’t want to know why the people here are what they are, I want to know what they are doing. You don’t need to tell me why beforehand. To be frank, I’m getting kinda bored.

Margaret and Nucky are lovers now.  Oddly, it was for this episode that Kelly MacDonald received an Emmy nomination. I mean, she is good, but she’s no better tonight than she is at any other point in Boardwalk Empire. I admit she has one fantastic scene, but that was mostly due to the quality of the script. To be specific, following the blossoming of Margaret’s sexual relationship with Nucky, Lucy Danziger returns to her work La Belle Femme. Noticing her romantic rival fixing clothes racks, she plays a passive-aggressive card, forcing the normally coy and submissive woman to try on an excessively revealing pair of undergarments. I actually find Lucy hilariously slutty and stupid, she’s so naked so often that it’s stopped being special, or attractive. In fact, I think the character is a tad insane, because during this scene with Margaret, she goes on about how much control she has over Nucky, even opening her legs up to reveal television’s rarest commodity. Margaret, showcasing her undying wit and general intelligence, tells her a nice parable that ends with a simple message, and I quote ‘Maybe your cunny isn’t quite the draw you think it is’. Ha! I’ve decided I love this woman! Anyway, to end the conversation on an even more dramatic and cathartic note, Margaret storms out of the store telling Madame Jeunet she’s quitting.

Nucky is more about business tonight, having to negotiate with Lucky Luciano following a robbery on the boardwalk. I didn’t know that they knew Luciano was in Atlantic City, but they obviously did, and there isn’t any evidence proving otherwise. What I appreciated about the meeting was that Nucky actually stood up for Gillian Darmody, after Luciano said some crude comment about their time together. Nucky is starting to look like a strangely honourable individual, especially where woman and black people are concerned. He gives Luciano a little whack on the back of the head, sending the Italian boy into a rage and giving Eli an excuse to beat on him, holding Lucky up so Nucky can say his piece.

Nucky also has to deal with Mayor Hague of Jersey City, who is also in line to receive the road appropriations money. I’m still not overly sure what’s going on here; I think that Nucky wants a road built between Philly, New York and Atlantic City, while Hague wants them built to Jersey City instead. I actually had to look at a map to work out what that all meant, and I’m still don’t really know. Before you start ragging on my lack of geographic knowledge, note that I’m actually an Aussie, so asking me to point to an American city is only slightly better than asking me to point to an Albanian one. So, ignoring that, Nucky’s plan is to buy Hague off, rather than have him go for the money from the bill as well. Sure, I understand that.

The best plot of the night was certainly Jimmy’s, as he actually got a bit of action in – and not sex action either. No, after Al Capone almost single-handedly started a war between Sheridan and Torrio, Torrio had a meeting arranged so that the two parties can discuss their differences. That’s not their plan, in the end though, and it all depends on one, random thing; the coat girl. Apparently fancy places have them on TV, and as they come into Sheridan’s place they hand their stuff over to the coat girl, this pretty blonde thing Sheridan takes a shine to. After the meeting, which ends up being entirely irrelevant, everyone comes to retrieve their paraphernalia, only to see it’s a new coat girl. The second Jimmy and Al have their coats, they pull out concealed guns and take out Sheridan and his entire crew, seizing Greektown.

Rather than focussing on Jimmy, this episode had a larger focus on Al, with Jimmy visiting Al in his home early on. It is a pretty awkward dinner, with his mother only able to speak Italian, and his wife only able to speak English. Their son, however, doesn’t speak at all, since it turns out young Sonny is deaf. Stephan Graham, who plays Al with a sense of compassion as well as brutality, is especially good. Graham’s best moments are when Al is silent, watching as Jimmy receives credit and adulation from Torrio, leaving him out in the cold. At a party celebrating the successful conquering of Greektown, Al speaks out, jokingly mocking Jimmy, who then returns in kind by pointing out Al’s uneven war record. In their last scene of the night, Al reveals that his major limitation is his lack of ability to properly communicate with others when he visits Jimmy up in his roof. At the end of the scene, the viewer is left unsure whether Al was trying to be friendly with his accomplice, or threatening him. I’m not sure Jimmy knew either.

The most confusing character is now officially Van Alden, who requisitions the immigration file on Margaret Schroeder, supposedly to further investigate her deceased husband. However he only ends up removing her photograph, setting it beside the bed, placing a towel down on the mattress, then... self-flagellating? Riiiiiiight.... This is getting weirder, though does it actually hold any significance?

As of the end of this episode, we are halfway through season one, and despite being complex from a character point of view, we have little idea where the plot is heading and it is beginning to grind me the wrong way. Hopefully the final half of the season will be more eventful, and less focused on characters I already know and who I mostly don’t want to know.