'Haunted' - The Vampire Diaries, Season One

The Vampire Diaries

Season One

Episode Seven

'Haunted' - 5.5

To accept this show you must accept that it works within a parallel universe in which Jeremy Gilbert is attractive.

It is nice to see the Vampire Diaries move along at a faster pace, and 'Haunted' seemed to accelerate and finish a major character arc of the show. Vicki, who became a vampire last episode, is killed, Stefan and Elena kind of got back together (after what, twenty four hours apart?) and Damon proves he has a little humanity left in him.

As you have probably deduced, I have issues with most of the characters of this show. Damon pisses me off royally, and this episode was no different. He pulled his whole I-have-no-remorse routine the entire time and I just wanted him to leave. He only gets in the way and stuffs things up, he's not an antagonist he's just an irritant. Useless. I'd be alright if Ian Somerhalder would start acting rather than making eye twitches!

Anyway, Damon actually wasn't in this episode as much as the other antagonist - Vicki. Vicki spends 'Haunted' hungry, consistently a step away from tearing any of the other character's heads off, though it was mostly all talk until the final few minutes where she accidentally tasted some of Jeremy's blood.

So something I notice about the Vampire Diaries is that they like to spring parties on us - Not long ago we had the Founder's Ball, there was the Bonfire in the first episode and they had the football thing in 'Friday Night Bites', and this episode we had some Halloween do. I don't know what it is really like in America, but I think these constant parties are just lazy. For some reason media believes that when bad stuff happens at parties it is more dramatic, and the number characters conjugating in one location means we think they're all in danger, and yeah it does, but only for so many times. I swear only about three or four weeks has passed in this universe, that school must be made of money.

As you'd have guessed, everything important occurs at this party, and all the main cast members are in attendance, even a hungry Vicki. Now, the Halloween party looked good, but there were points where someone would walk through the decked out sets under the blinking strobe lights and it would look awesome, but these moments were too brief. Man, it could have been like a horror noir, confusing flashes, artistic shadows, all that, but I think this show doesn't want to look intelligent. Maybe it doesn't want to scare off idiots?

Eventually Vicki finds Jeremy and takes him out to the School Bus sleepy place to make out, only to accidentally bite his lip and taste his blood. We've all been there right? Anyway, she goes pretty schizo, as you do when you are a new vampire it seems, and Elena and Stefan intervene.

Don't let the sarcastic tone fool you, the fight between the four of them was pretty fantastic. Elena gets thrown around, there is a brief period where we didn't know where Vicki was, Elena gets bitten. It was fun, and just what should have happened at the climax of the episode, yet I couldn't help wondering - why did they have to be at a Halloween party? Regardless, it all ends with Vicki attaching herself to Elena's neck and then Stefan sticking a broken plank right through her heart. Hooray! A meaningful death!

In fact, her death was commendably handled. It was slow, and the acting from Vicki and Jeremy was pretty heartbreaking, needless  to say I was surprised and impressed. What pissed me off was that the show effectively vetoes the death by Damon wiping Jeremy of his memories of vampires and the emotions he felt when his girlfriend died. Even Elena's anger at Damon was kind of cleaned away when she asked him to compel her little brother. UG! Make something matter!

The Vampire Diaries often looks good in a typical dark, teenager-orientated sort of show, but it seems frightened of breaking barriers or taking risks. What really lets the show and this episode down is this fear, and the bad decisions the crew makes in order to maintain the status quo that isn't particularly interesting to begin with. Still, Vicki's death is well played and action-packed, with the actress doing a great job in the character's final scenes, as well as Steve McQueen pulling more than his far share of the weight as Jeremy deals with his grief. It could have been great, TVD, but somewhere, somehow, something is wrong and needs to be addressed.

'The Children's Crusade' - Revolution, Season One

Revolution

Season One

Episode Seven

'The Children's Crusade' - 2.0

It's not a good sign when I end up feeling sorry for the good actors caught up in this mess. 

Ok, so perhaps last episode's enjoyable experience was a one-off event. 'The Children's Crusade' returned to the predictable, politically correct, horribly written shit that perpetuated the first five episodes of the season. 

To be simple and - hopefully - concise, there are kids who have no parents and they are cute and no one dies. The kids’ leader is taken by the Militia and a guilty Miles decides to let his idealistic niece infiltrate some recruitment ship and rescue the leader. I'm sure I've said it before but these idiots deserve to die horribly, even though they won't. Hell, even Grace isn't dead after being kidnapped by 'Randall'.

On that note, the bright light of this episode came from Elizabeth Mitchell getting some more screen time. Mitchell has always been fantastic, and Rachel's pregnancy woes gave her plenty of room to stretch her muscles of actingness. Her reaction to her unborn baby's malady was realistic and touching, and I believed the performances of both her and of Ben Matheson. I also appreciated her initial collapse, as Rachel falls to the sidewalk with her hand to her belly begging desperately for assistance, and it just goes to show how great the actress is at portraying a woman dealing with her own or someone else's pregnancy. It's a very bizarre typecast, but it definitely works for her.

In the modern time, we also get to see Mitchell portray a morally ambiguous character once again, as she tries to trick a former friend into giving her the location of the pendants. It was a very well filmed sequence, as was the reveal of the prisoner's daughter later on, which establishes this poor guy as a less fortunate parallel to Rachel. Her break down as she realised what she'd brought about was pretty damn depressing, and a testament to one of the two strong actors on the show. The other is Giancarlo Esposito, by the way.

A weak actor is Billy Boyd, or whatever, who continues to fail his deliver and conviction in playing a troubled anti-hero. I don't believe that he has the sort of fury and determination that allows someone to be that good at fighting and swordplay. There's just no fire, nothing that makes me accept that this guy got a job without sleeping with somebody or paying someone a whole chunk of money. I can see that Tracy Spiridakos is able, if not always willing, to play the role of Charlie, I just wonder if she relates better to the more badass side to the character, as when she's being moral and typically heroic she can't sell it well. For the good of the show they clearly need to make Charlie an anti-hero like her uncle, and then they can get rid of Miles and get on with the story in style.

Putting children in the middle of the action is ultimately an easy way to evoke an emotional connection, similarly, Rachel's pregnancy troubles. At least the latter was well executed, because the actual 'Children's Crusade' was horribly acted and presented. I just didn't care, I could see that it wasn't real and I knew that the children would succeed. They're fucking children in Revolution, they aren't like sweet little girls in The Walking Dead. They are in absolutely no danger whatsoever. I don't think I can stand this predictability! 

And that's pretty much how I feel about Revolution. Shit. I don't like it anymore, the episode wasn't any fun, the characters suck ass, the plot is uninteresting and a promising premise is wasted by worthless writers and directors. Why don't you do something? 

'Sunday Best' - Boardwalk Empire, Season Three

Boardwalk Empire

Season Three

Episode Seven

'Sunday Best' - 6.5

We are just so... Nineteen twenties-y. 

Happy Easter everyone, apparently. That's right, back in the nineteen twenties they did the entire Easter Sunday ritual, just like us, with a pleasant family lunch or dinner and an egg hunt, even if it is for money. At points 'Sunday Best' actually felt like filler, namely the scenes featuring Nucky and Margaret spending the evening at Eli and June's house or Richard Harrow at the veterans' lunch,  as other than a few character and relationship points nothing was really raised or modified. Especially not when compared with the Gyp Rosetti storyline or whatever went down at Gillian's house. 

I think Gillian's rendezvous with her Jimmy-lookalike is a good place to start, as it managed to be a strange mix of the episode's best and worst parts. First of all, it was horrendously creepy. Gillian is a complete nutcase, definitely suffering from the grief of her son's loss, while also having to actually admit to herself that he is dead. To do that, for some bizarre psychological reason she decides she has to dose her lover with heroin then drown him in the bath. Seriously, after only two episodes with us the surrogate son/incestuous affair is killed. Nonetheless, his presence was felt, even if he was there just to make Gillian Darmody out to be bonkers. She even tells the poor lad that Jimmy was actually her husband instead of her son. 

Luckily for us, once she's done the deed and made it look like an overdose she sits down on Richard Harrow's bed and finally realises the truth for herself; Jimmy's dead, and he's not coming back. This storyline was both disconcerting and fascinating, though my biggest issue stemmed from the drowning of the lad; it was just so dramatic! Yeah, conflict and murder and death are always good twists and stuff, but I just didn't really believe it, did Gillian have to be so extreme about it? I don't think there are that many nutcases so close to each other anywhere in the world. Maybe Boardwalk Empire is reaching its expiration date if they have to resort to such manipulative and outlandish tactics to keep us invested.

While she has her day of sex and homicide, her assistant Richard Harrow takes Tommy to his Easter lunch, which takes place at that father and daughter pair we met in the last episode. Have to say though; did anyone give a shit? Yeah, Harrow is a fantastic character who inspires pity and respect, managing to be both a tragic victim and an amoral killer. But love? Once again, I'm wondering if the show is reaching a point where it's run out of ideas, because that is such an obvious direction to take the character that it is absolutely uninteresting. I do believe it more than I believe Gillian's murder of Roger, but at least THAT was endlessly fascinating. Harrow and Julia is just boring.

Similarly, Margaret and Nucky spend Easter Sunday engaging in family play with Eli and his family. There were the odd points in this story that were a bit alright, namely Margaret admits to June that she is not happy with the state of her marriage, and that Nucky has a mistress in New York. Of course June tells her husband once it's all over, though I don't know if this will have any significance at all. There was also a kind of reconciliation between the brothers, but this was after Eli practically asked Nucky to shoot him because he's 'tired of waiting'. This must have been an admirable act in Nucky's eyes, as he offers his brother the position of partner in Doyle's warehouse.

There was also implications of remaining affection between Nucky and his wife, as she comes to discover that he is a proficient juggler and entertainer. When he offers to teach her how to juggle though, she simply tells him that it's 'too late', with the double entendre being about as explicit as Gretchen Mol's tits earlier in the episode. To be honest, I'm conflicted about putting these two back together, as they were a terrific couple and are one of the few evenly matched pairs on the show, but I also don't want the show to go back on their developments simply because another option is better.

I follow Steve Buscemi on Twitter, and I knew from there just how funny the man is (seriously folks, @TheRealBuscemi, follow that shit) but his brief comic display during his family talent show was quite hilarious. He may have some of the best comic timing that I've seen in a long time, as well as a plain, old funny voice. Great stuff. Also, he can clearly really juggle, which is also impressive.

Finally, Gyp Rosetti also does some stuff. Good stuff, in Italian. Just as hilariously as Nucky's egg routine, Gyp actually beats up a priest in a church after calling God 'fucking sick' and then goes about stealing all the collection money. Later he approaches Joe Masseria with the money and is able to appropriate a bit of support in his quest to 'kill them all', as in Rothstein and Nucky. Terrific! And now a mob guy with actual power is in on the action as well, so hopefully we will see an old-fashioned mob war erupt along the Eastern seaboard. Honestly though, does Masseria believe he can defeat two of the most powerful criminals in America? 

If 'Sunday Best' taught me anything, it's that Easter Sunday is not a day for action, except for the reflective, dramatic murder of Roger by Gillian, though that just bordered on scarring. After last episode's absence it was good to see Gyp Rosetti back on the scene and making a few power plays to reassert his dominance and take his revenge. With only five episodes left we have to start seeing the action ramp up as we head towards the finale. What will happen? Who'll fall in the crossfire? My guesses; Gillian's just gotten too insane, I think the writers are moving to cut her out, and put her more in the middle of the action. Run or the other. If Margaret isn't with Nucky then they are going to have to go to bizarre measures to keep her involved, so it might just be easier to kill her off. I'm getting kind of bored of Richard Harrow, as he hasn't really changed that much since joining the show two years ago, but I wouldn't put his odds low. I think he'll do fine. Eli and Mickey Doyle would both be expendable, probably the former less so than the latter, though I doubt Eli's gonna get bumped off first. Billy Kent, even though she didn't appear tonight, is in definite danger, especially now that more and more people are becoming aware of her fling with Nucky, and she also gets between him and Margaret. I for one wouldn't care if she got tapped on the shoulder.

We will see though, it might end up like the first season which kind of shrugged as it finished, and no one important might die. I hope not though, there's been a few snooze fests this year and I want to see all this exposition lead to something worthwhile. 

'Home' - Boardwalk Empire, Season One

Boardwalk Empire

Season One

Episode Seven

‘Home’ – 5.5

Everyone loves melodrama. 

Ok, well it’s not looking like some sort of overarching plotline is going to manifest itself in this show, rather Boardwalk Empire is beginning to turn into something of an extravagant soap opera, with more sex and violence. I’m not saying it’s bad, the show is a cut above the rest in terms of script, acting and art direction on a bad day, but the plot is meandering along while the story continues to pander the needs of its characters more than us.

‘Home’ concludes the drama surrounding the attack on Pearl, by introducing a disturbing new allegiance for Jimmy. Pearl was Jimmy’s whore/girlfriend from earlier in the season, who ended up getting her face sliced in two after he and Al Capone fudged a deal with some tavern owner in another mobster’s territory, killing herself in ‘Nights in Ballygran’. This episode begins with the guy responsible – Liam – being tracked to a diner where he eats lunch most days. You can already tell how this is gonna turn out, but for some reason it takes nearly the full fifty minutes to get to that point.

Along the way to the death of Pearl-slasher, we have to endure a long winded introduction to Richard Harrow, an unfortunate veteran who has suffered severe facial scarring during the war, and must use a face mask in order to hide the half of his face that... well, isn’t there anymore. Jimmy and Richard meet at a military hospital after Jimmy began suffering pain from the war injury in his leg. The two get to talking, with Richard revealed to be a soft-spoken and brutally honest former sharp shooter with a serious issue connecting with people; though that is understandable. While a character with facial scarring is a difficult one to pitch to audiences, here he is presented with sympathy and realism, even down to the disfiguring injuries.

With Jimmy now aware of Liam’s favourite restaurant, he meets him there one day. Jimmy intimidates the mobster the best way he knows how; a war story. The story is one of suffering and torment, with some unlucky German soldier getting shot and left to die in a tangled mess of barbed wire, being tortured by his agonising death yet refusing to let himself be killed. One thing Michael Pitt has going for him is his acting ability, with his deliveries always pitch perfect in their abrasive, passive-aggressive way. Liam is obviously disconcerted, promising to leave Chicago and never return. This appears to satiate Jeremy, and he goes to leave. The second he’s through the door there is the sound of glass breaking and a jug shatters on a waiter’s tray. The camera reveals the corpse of Liam, a bloody bullet hole just under his eye, reminiscent of a tale Richard told Jimmy in the hospital. The next shot was entirely unnecessary, and completely over-the-top; we zoom through the hole in the diner’s window, over the street and into the opposite building, showing us that it was Harrow, without a doubt. Really? You let everything else go unsaid and you have to obvious about what was already obvious? And that had to have been computer animated, that would’ve been expensive! Ug.

Nucky’s father Ethan Thompson is a goddamn prick. I don’t know why protagonists need such definitive parental issues. Look at Jimmy and his absolutely crazy mother! No, Ethan is abusive, cruel and selfish, so are we supposed to be sympathetic when he takes a nasty fall early in the episode? Probably not, it was his own fault anyway. That’s what you get for having so many cats. The fall puts the old guy in the hospital, leading Nucky and Eli to decide that their family home needs to go. Nucky gives the home to some politician on his payroll; Fleming. However, after a dreary encounter with his father once the house has been fixed up, he gets a can of petrol and sets the entire place ablaze, gifting Fleming a wad of cash and telling him to find a better place. I don’t know what the significance of all this will be, but it might have something to do with Teddy watching from the car as this all goes on.

Other stuff happened too you know; Lucky Luciano and a friend tried to turn Chalky White away from Nucky, attempting to coerce him with $10,000 into selling directly to them, cutting a middle man out of the equation. Chalky’s no dumdum though, and he throws the money in Mr. Meyer Lansky’s face. The two of them then head over to the D’Alessio brothers and Mickey Doyle, offering them a part of their liquor business, as long as they provide the right amount of money. As subtly as a snake swallowing a baby, Lucky Luciano suggests robbing Nucky’s casino and splitting half and half between Rothstein and them.

Angela is now a lesbian, apparently, getting down and dirty with the photographer’s wife. This is an interesting twist, though whether or not it will have any real significance down the track is anyone’s guess. There is a lot in this show I just can’t be bothered going into, because there is a lot of inconsequential information that is fed to us. Oh, if you’re wondering about Margaret, don’t. Nothing happens to her, but she’s around.

So it’s beginning to look like Boardwalk Empire isn’t going anywhere, and boy is that annoying. There’s nothing really going for it in these last few episodes and to be perfectly honest, this characterisation shit’s gotten tedious. I hope this show can pick up something and run with it, get a single thread thing going and get me re-invested in the story, because terrific actors and sets and general prettiness is great for a while, but in the end I need to an epic tale to keep me hooked, and it looks like Boardwalk Empire COULD give me one if they took the time for it.

'In Which We Meet Mr. Jones' - Fringe, Season One

Fringe

Season One

Episode Seven

'In Which We Meet Mr. Jones' - 8.0

With Astrid standing where she is, this looks like a horrible porn scene. *Shudders*

The seventh episode of Fringe gives us a satisfying advance in the series' overarching plot line, even if the case-of-the-week is a bit too far-fetched to be at all believable.

It is always a positive thing when a show is able to introduce a beguiling villain who can stand toe-to-toe with our intelligent and articulate good-guys. David Robert Jones is just that villain. Not only does his name roll absurdly well on one's tongue, but his actor, Jared Harris, is truly fantastic as the accented genius. His interrogation scene with Olivia is absolutely mesmerising to watch, the exchange being so deftly written and spoken, it is almost like a dance or fight scene.

There are also two other evildoers introduced - Mitchell Loeb and his wife. Mr. Loeb is the unfortunate fringe-event this week, suffering from a severe case of heart-being-clamped-by-spiky-worm-thing-itis. We only get a couple lines from either Loeb during the episode, none of which are particularly character-building. For a while all we know is that Mitchell was some sort of FBI agent and that theirs is a loving marriage. Aw, cute. Nonetheless the final minute-long scene subverts the personas we assumed on them by implicating them as the orchestrators of the entire parasite fiasco, although it doesn't explain if their relationship was staged or real. Either way I honestly don't care, we barely meet the two of them, let alone conclude they are completely good. It was not particularly shocking or inspiring that they are terrorists. Perhaps better actors or more time spent developing their unblemished facade would have benefitted the final twist.

Aside from the overall progress this episode brought to the show, it also provided quite a few excellent scenes. On top of Jones' interrogation, there was anything involving the death and subsequent questioning of Joseph Smith as well as the simple look on Agent Broyles face as Walter explained his memory of a cocktail he missed - all the while Broyles' friend lay dying only a few metres away. Hilarious job by both actors, by the way.

Joseph Smith, though he doesn't actually get any real lines, had a real and noticeable presence in 'In Which we Meet Mr. Jones'. His bullet to the brain became an important and original plot point - forcing Walter to hook him up to his son and shoot him up with electricity. The fast paced electro-shock therapy was interspersed with Jones' interrogation to create an incredibly unnerving and nearly disturbing sequence. I absolutely loved them both, even more so combined.

So what is the verdict? Well overall I really enjoyed the episode, and I believe that it will be an incredibly integral point for the rest of the season; we meet three new mysterious villains, as well as the parent company they may all work for, ZFT. I am really looking forward to the show digging deeper into the history and the goals of the terrorism-by-science group.