'Friday Night Bites' - The Vampire Diaries, Season One

The Vampire Diaries

Season One

Episode Three

'Friday Night Bites' - 7.0

And Stefan's brief stint on the football team is never mentioned again

I know all you Damon or Stefan Salvatore fans out there must hate me, and I understand. Both of my prior reviews for uber-teen sensation 'The Vampire Diaries' have been a little negative - well, I've ripped into the show like one of the bloodsuckers rips into a nice throbbing neck - but I should get around to telling you why. Not only have I heard wonderful things about the series, but I have watched it before I decided to start again for the blog. I know at some point it does become watchable, heck, enjoyable; it's just that those first two episodes verged on unbearably atrocious. They were largely poorly acted, and the plot went absolutely nowhere and the characters were not given an ounce of depth or real history. Luckily, the first season's third episode 'Friday Night Bites' changed that. Yes, though it will by no means be perfect, I am giving The Vampire Diaries it's first of hopefully many positive reviews. Shall we proceed?

Our first glimpse tonight was of Caroline, who awoke half-nekkid in bed with none other than the world's most irritating evil doer - Damon freaking Salvatore. I like Caroline, I admit, though that is probably from my prior knowledge of the show, and how awesome she ends up becoming later on. At the moment though, she's a bit of a dud. She whines and brags and has the tack of a poster pin someone left in the ocean five decades ago. It's pretty tough to watch her at this point. Regardless, for those who didn’t know everything was gonna be fine, the first few moments were pretty suspenseful. I remember when I first watched it a couple of years ago I thought she'd die for sure - she was a bitch and we were only three episodes in. It made sense, and would definitely cause conflict.

When she did turn up alive and as perky as usual later on, I was probably a bit disappointed. Luckily for the viewer though, Caroline wasn't the only character who could be shoved off to create a bit of tension - towards the end of the episode we lost Mr. Tanner, the teacher who acts like he forged a education degree so he can torment teenagers. The writers could have chosen to off a character with a bigger emotional draw, but I'm told Tanner died in a similar manner in the novel, so I guess I can pass it. I was pleased anyway, cause it confirmed the powers of Bonnie, which I don't think really needed confirming at all, but it is appreciated nonetheless. It also completely tore apart Damon and Stefan's already floundering family ties - at the conclusion, Stefan makes a decision (into his journal of course) that Damon needs to go, and he needs to go quickly. Oooh! I can't remember where this goes, but it sounds suspenseful.

Outside of faculty fatalities, Elena also noted a clue to Stefan's true nature - she noticed a cut, only for it to disappear because of vampire regenerative capabilities. Elena didn't really take it any further than a few confused questions, but the groundwork for the big reveal I know is coming was laid down, and she clearly hasn't brushed it off as a misreading.

On the note of Stefan's little hand injury, can I again mention the utter waste of space that is Jeremy Gilbert? I know Tyler started the fight, but it was Jeremy who tried to slash someone's flesh - that has to count for something. Tyler never attempted to kill the kid, in fact I remember Jeremy threatening to murder Vicki's ex only the last episode. It's clear Elena needs to send her brother for some help, I'm thinking more like a psychiatric institution than rehab. Or why don't we save everyone some trouble and just get him the lethal injection?

I still have issues with the overall patronising writing that prevails the show - Bonnie repeats her psychic numbers a couple of times during the episode. We would have got it once, and if we didn't it wouldn't have mattered. The viewers all know that you are a witch, Bonnie, cause it would be boring as shit if it turned out you were a normal girl with a penchant for coincidences. We don't have learning disabilities, you can be vague or subtle. In fact, please do. Half of the human population has less than average IQ, but half of us are above average. Which half do you care about more?

One last positive and negative point. I'll admit Damon was less infuriating tonight than he was in the first two episodes. He was less of a one-note bad guy, and more of a deeply affected man who is putting up a front. I will comment that it was a bit of staging, not acting, that led me to this conclusion, and I still think Ian Somerhalder kinda sucks right now (my theory is that he didn't think the show would last so he hammed it up), but I know he slowly improves over time. That wasn't the negative, no, the negative was a general issue with the characters of the show - I continue to wish a slow death on most of them, most notably Jeremy, Damon, Matt, Tyler and Vicki - only one of whom actually dies in the future episodes I've seen. This is more an issue of writing-failures and abuse of stereotypes than acting ability, but this again will improve as the show goes on - at least from my memory it does.

So, it may not be that momentous an occasion, but that was a positive review. So if you've been sending me hate mail, you can stop now. I don't have a bias against the show or the genre, no, it is awful television I have a bias towards, and I'm sorry, but the first two episodes were pretty awful. Get over it, I think we are past the worst of it for now.