'The Night of the Comet' - The Vampire Diaries, Season One

The Vampire Diaries

Season One

Episode Two

'The Night of the Comet' -4.5

Shut up Damon. 

The second episode of The Vampire Diaries was a bit like walking up and down a small hill. Started from the bottom, with little hope because of failure of the preceding trek, the walk was pretty dull at first. As things get higher it all began to get slightly more and more interesting, and the prospects of what may be at the top became brighter. Finally, around about half way through the little hike I reached the top, from which the view was amazing and I was looking forward to the descent, however it turned out the normal way down was closed and I had to retread my steps back down the boring slope of been-there-done-that. To be more to the point, the middle of 'the Night of the Comet' was splendidly tense and fun, but the parts before and after were so sucky it practically undid the only good scene.

So, what scene is so good, you may ask. Well you see, I was incredibly surprised by which moment in this episode I enjoyed so much. I'll start by explaining why; I don't like Damon yet. At this point in the series I find him stereotypical and poorly performed. I'm sorry, but Ian Somerhalder, in my opinion, is no good at playing evil. His attempt at the sultry, cocky voice mixed with the god-awful one-liners he's forced to say make him seem effeminate and over-the-top. He reminds me of a out-and-proud gay queen who knows a secret that no one else is aware of, yet something they'll all want to know. It's not Somerhalder himself, it's the crappy delivery and presumably the less-than-adequate direction that make him seem so... soapy. I don't know, I wasn't trying to be offensive, just calling it how I see it. Off topic, anyhow, since he was the lynchpin of the best scene of the episode, in which he brings Vicki Donovan to a rooftop then once again tries to bring his brother over to the dark side.

Interestingly, I don't really like Vicki or her actor either. I mean, she doesn't do too badly, but I just feel that the pilot's performance was better. Like that episode as well, I was hoping that our young drug-whore would die the way all unimportant and lousy characters should - painfully and memorably. Alas, she got out with only a few pulled stitches. She wasn't that integral to the scene anyway, it was Damon and Stefan who stole the show, with both allowing the viewers to get a better look at the characters - Stefan, being a holier-than-thou vegan vampire with a rod so far up his ass it's probably scrambling his brains; and Damon, who've I've already torn apart in this review. It's true I like neither, but it is good that this scene helped me realise why, and made them and their relationship seem less boring. The whole time up there on the roof was heart-pounding, and with a bit-player like Vicki there we couldn't be sure she'd survive, which certainly added suspense to intensify the situation.

I was disappointed when the scene ended up meaning nothing - Vicki was compelled out of all memory of the confrontation and let go without serious injury, and Damon and Stefan didn't really learn anything new about each other, even if we did. The rest of the episode was pretty much the same, nothing, followed by nothing, followed by nothing.

Can I just point out how much I HATE Jeremy? He's Elena's little brother but I get this sneaking suspicion we are supposed to feel sympathy for him, but he's a stuck-up brat who refuses to admit he has a serious drug problem. Stick the asshole to the sticking place and get it over with, every time he's on screen I want him to overdose and DIE IN A HOLE. Please. His constant teen-angst made me like Aunt Jenna though, which is maybe the real point. I honestly don't know, because I cannot see how we are supposed to like him. He's seriously as big a douchebag as Tyler, they should probably both leave Vicki alone.

Complaint number four-thousand and six; the music. Cut it out already! All this indie-pop is really grinding my gears. Oh, you're quirky Vampire Diaries? Really? No, no, I think you're just dull, and cowardly. Pull a trick! Play some death metal in a touching moment! Do something brave you stupid show.

I think I'm fair. I was a tad impressed Elena and Stefan kissed in only the second episode, though I care so little about either of them I can't really give the show any more marks for it. You know what I'd like? Stake Damon. Throw Vicki off the roof. Give Jeremy a razor blade and a bottom of valium. Cut out the 'alternate' music garbage. Grow some balls. Make a change. I think this is all fair as well, right? Wouldn't be that big a deal.

Oh, but don't hurt Caroline ever again. OK?